Friday, 10 December 2010

Text Tag

Text tag…

This is the most frustrating and at times annoying part of my ‘job’
I don’t mind answering the odd text, and I get that my fella’s can’t always talk openly, but text tag is just tedious.

What I dislike is the opportunistic texter (that even a word?) The one who gets your number from one of the various profiles, and instead of reading the profile or heaven forbid clicking on the link to my own website to get the information they play text tag.

Do you do x y z? Can I see you on your day off? Can I have x service which you don’t offer on x day?
 I feel like texting back are you lacking in brain cells?

I spend an inordinate amount of time updating, uploading and writing informative and descriptive profiles, I do this because I don’t want to spend £££ on my pre-pay mobile to text people who can’t even be bothered to put in a modicum of time to read a succinct, informative profile.

I will take bookings via text from clients who are known to me, I won’t however take a booking from an unknown client via text when I have not even so much as heard his voice.

I specifically state on ALL my profiles I don’t accept text bookings.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that the written word is a powerful tool and I will accept bookings Via e-mail, but those who book Via e-mail also call to confirm, and or call to discuss services, it costs the same via text tag as it does to enquire via telephone so what is not to get about this?

This is one of those days in which I think, some people just have no common sense.

It’s three weeks to Christmas and my joy, joy mood has for this day been turned into a bah humbug day.

Friday, 3 December 2010

A few announcements

A few of you fella's are chomping at the bit for info, so here it is…

In order:

I have joined Milton Keynes Escorts, so I will be offering In-calls in Milton Keynes once again.

I will be offering MK in-calls on a Saturday so I will also be doing weekends again I know most have you have been frustrated with my lack of weekend play times, now you can come and relieve all that pent up frustration. ;)

I will also be offering Nuru massage there, so you get the massage with the escort content, but only on a Saturday, all that B2B and full on services too, am I not good to you boys!

Nuru will be charged at a flat rate of £160 for an hour please call 1 hour in advance of wanting the appointment to make sure we can slide you in!

To book an appointment with me at MK-Escorts, you can call them on 01908 696559 Or 07885 411 888.
You can also call me on 07795184331.

I will only be around until the end of December after that I am taking time out to work on some other things, so don't miss out on me.

Coventry, London, and out-calls will still be available check the schedule for the dates and times.

I will also possibly be offering pole dance to some of my fella's but that is yet to be confirmed.

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Few new fancies up

I have added a few new gifs to the tickle my fancies page for your browsing pleasure.

enjoy xx

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Eulogy for my dearly departed.

Sad day for me today, I got up and took my cat of 8yrs to the vets to be put down.

I was with her when they did it and I held her in my arms as she went to sleep never to wake again.

Never to jump on my bed in the morning and wake me with her loud purring, never to curl round my head and tickle my face with her soft silky fur.

I feel honored that she choose me as hers, and loved me for the wonderful years I had her.

Some may scoff at me being so upset, and those who hold that view are welcome to have it, but for me...

This little bundle of fur, gave me something precious and I will honor that memory of her.

8 weeks old and her and brother came home to me, they were a right pair, no toes or fingers were safe, no laces un-chewed, no couches unscathed.

I named them both aptly Trouble and Mischief. Trouble was a bundle of joy and helped me see that life is not all dreary when your sad, and those antics would keep even the most miserable person entertained for hours.

A few daring rescues by myself ensued as with her namesake she got herself into trouble.

Curtains are a wonderful play toy to kittens, or at least they were to mine.
Getting her down without injury, mission impossible.

Daredevil cat and a supreme huntress, I enjoyed many gifts from my puss, though the clearing of them was something I would rather not have had to do at 3am.

But it is a gift, a cat will only bring prey home if it loves and trusts the person caring for it. (Did you know that?) So even though the stomach curling at 3am was less than desirable, the thought behind those little gifts was not un-noticed, or under appreciated by me.

People will always wax eloquently about how perfect their pet was and how it was the best...

Well mine was a moggie, nothing exceptional in breed, but never the less special.

She would walk to the shops with me, go for a walk with me when we took the dog out, and put the dog in her place, while still being a playmate.

Never once scratched little ones even though tails being pulled and fur being yanked could not have been nice for her, but she had the ability to distinguish between, little ones not knowing and older kids being cruel.

Even after the hardest day she would put a smile on my face and for that I will always honor her.

It is hard to put any pet to sleep, even when you know it's the right thing to do, but knowing you have to and doing it are so very different and so very difficult.

I held my puss in my arms as she went to sleep for the last time, I felt her heart cease to beat, and all that made her who she was vanish from the world.

Today my world got a little darker, and I hope that the light will return over time, but for now I am going to allow myself to grieve, for my beautiful brave pussy who gave so much to me, even while ill.

RIP in the arms of Lady Bast my sweet pussycat.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Spilling the beans.

Do I, don’t I?

Ok here is the thing I am not fond of having my dirty laundry aired for the masses, and I am so not into competing for the top spot, I am happy just being me.

But it would seem that this little snag needs to be addressed as y’all (yes my love for Americanisms is showing) won’t stop pestering me about it, so here is the inside scoop.

Yes the fantastical fantasy duo is disbanded.

What led to this is NOT up for discussion by me, you will not hear anything about the cause of this from me.

I don’t do gossiping, and I don’t really care for the top spot, as I just can’t be bothered, I would rather focus my energies into what I do best.

So for all those asking, please stop, as it can get tiresome telling people that it is nothing to do with them.

I am not in a playground, and I don’t need people to “be on my side’’ I just want people to understand that Yes Chloe and I worked together, Yes we had a good time doing it, and now we have gone our separate ways.

You will also not hear me badmouthing Chloe, in any manner shape or form, as it’s not my thing, So for those people ‘stirring’ the pot to try, and get something to happen, please get a life!

Chloe is a lovely person, and also very good at what she does, and I will never state anything to the contrary as that is what I honestly believe.

I have and will continue to recommend her to any who ask, as I did and still think she is good at what she does.

So can we please now stop playing in the playground and come back to the adult world, where people make choices and that is all there really is to it?

Subject closed.

Monday, 18 October 2010

The New PunterNet.

Well I can’t say I have played much on it, between, my personal life taking off in a whole new direction, and my working life being disrupted by my scary almost thinking I was dead moment *it happened honest*, I haven’t had the time to find to say hi, or get involved, or even just sit and contemplate the whole thing.
Before my scary moment and the lot’s of new stuff, I did manage to play on it for about 5 minutes…
The board… well I need to play longer as I haven’t got a clue, maybe I will take the enlightened path and read the techie stuff sub-forum before I try the new board, might help, instead of my usual flounder like a fish out of water route.
The Chatroom… Ok Upshot is it’s cool, bigger more new toys etc…
Bad stuff I don’t like…
I am now yellow/gold, cause I am a chat room mod, I’m a different colour, but I liked being red not gold.
Gold is not my thing *pout* well unless you count white gold, whole other subject there though.
Can I throw a wobbly and stomp my feet about not being red?
*In the ghostly voice of Sir Galahad* No woman you can’t, so stop grousing, it’s not yours!
Oh well I guess I will just have to like being a golden ?? *you decided what to insert here*

The Tickle my fancies page is on hold.

Due to my laptop crashing and the fact that I have been all held up with quite a few things, all my tickles are on hold as they are all on the poor dead laptop.

I will get them back, but until then, guess we have to wait and see...

Hospital trauma

Ah crap don’t you just hate hospitals?
I do, they strip you of everything including your dignity, and hospital gowns are revolting whoever designed them needs a serious wake up call.
Yes I was in hospital, woe me, (no not really woe me, these things happen!)
As some will know I had an issue with my stomach.
I also had days off work for this to have an endoscopy, a few weeks back.  (picture below)

Which I can tell you was rather nasty, I didn’t like it, and words fail me to describe what having it does to you, lets just say (never again please!!) and move on.
Well anyway, after feeling like crap for a week or so after it, and the stress of a few other things, that I won’t go into, I ended up in hospital for throwing up blood.
Long story short I am ok, I survived, a very scary bout of puking blood, and nasty hospital gowns with seriously bad food (belch) but, I’m alive, I’m fine, and I’m so intending to not go back there.
After 25million tests (slight exaggeration there), Serious amounts of blood (they stole my blood it’s true) and not a damn thing to find, they finally let me go with a whole lot less of my dignity and self in tact.
Now I need some serious TLC from my boys to remind me, what comfort is all about?
*Maybe some new shoes too??* I know I’m a sucker for shoes, but seriously female of the species here!!

Sunday, 26 September 2010

This one is for DollyMopp

I saw this and thought of you, I couldn't resist hope you like it X

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Did the villages let their idiots out to play this last week or what?

Ok I am frustrated so I am certain to whine about it… what women do right?

Between the idiots calling at ridiculous hours (clearly states on all sites bar one because they stole my info please do not call after 10pm, and I do turn it off, but I do forget on occasion.)

So joyful 3 am wake up calls from guys who want me to come to see them, in London, Essex, and a few other random places. Now I could understand if I was in those areas but I am not, I mean seriously I wouldn’t even get to Essex before 6am.

London I only offer in-calls and again this information is clearly stated.

I get a text message from a man… “do you do out-calls to MK?”

“ Yes I do minimum booking of two hours” I reply.

So after a few questions which I reply to, (as no net access I am expecting calls for info etc.) he then proceeds to tell me he wants this booking for Monday 13th to which I reply I am in London and don’t get home until 10pm, so he tells me that the booking is for Monday after for 2 hours and will this be ok. I reply that will be fine but you will have to call as I do not take bookings from text messages.

He replies with this little gem.

“ Would you do bareback 4 £1000”?

I nearly spit my coffee all over my laptop, so I replied…

“Do not contact me again, and you will not get an appointment from me”

To which he replies, “Only asked, Sorry”

I declined to answer, and carry on doing my various little things on the computer, only to have this lovely village idiot text me 20 minutes later with this…

“A Level?”

I didn’t bother to answer, as he clearly didn’t get the message first time round, and I don’t believe you should feed the trolls.

So while this text farce was going on I checked my voicemail.

Only to come across village idiot number 3.

Now about an hour before the texts from idiot number 2 came through I got a call, I did answer but for some reason as I answered, it clicked over to my voicemail, so after having finished doing what I needed to do, the text idiot reminded me I had a voicemail.

So I listened to 2 voicemails that I were there (as phone is off on a Sunday)

And got to this voicemail, well as you can guess it was the over sexed village idiot that obviously needed to jack off down the phone in order to get off…

I mean seriously this idiot clearly wouldn’t be able to get it up unless the woman is not there.

So between those gems, and a few other ladies saying similar has happened to them in the last two weeks, I am wondering if the villages couldn’t handle their idiots and their kids for 6 weeks, and set the idiots loose for a break?

This is not including e-mail idiots, or forum idiots.

Oh what a joy it is to have these village idiots congregate around us.

Computer hell, and slinky new stuff

So I have as you know been planning to change my laptop for a while.

And I have been threatening to get broadband for home rather than just the dongle.

Well would seem that fate was conspiring against and for me in this endeavour.

Due to some random roll of the dice my laptop decided to crash. Ensue panic and mayhem, after having a flap about the fact that I was now Internet blind, I decided to resume normal functionality and look at the problem logically.

I took poor dead laptop to the computer shop in the hopes that they could resurrect him, no such luck, they told me that they were getting no current through the adapter, and that was most likely the cause, and yet they would not check the battery or the connector in the computer itself. So I was left with a choice.

I either bought an adapter worth £70, which once I had opened and used, was non returnable (don’t ask that bit is long and I am still smarting over it) and hope that it worked and if it didn’t then I still had the same problem.

So in my more lucid and infinite wisdom, I decided that, as I was planning on buying a new slinky laptop soon anyway, I might as well bring forward the plan and buy it now.

So I decide to march my cute ass, (I know modesty counts right? I just need the delusion right now.) down to the apple store to have a look as I was quite taken with the look of the Ipad when I came across it, but after serious consideration, I decided that the Ipad wasn’t what I wanted.

I needed something more.

So I settled on the Mac book pro.

It’s shiny and sleek and I’m totally in love with the keyboard I barely have to touch the keys and my letters are flying.

Anyway after serious conversations etc… I bought this wonderful piece of technology, Was staying away for the weekend so hooked up, my bad girl, to my friends broadband, and away we flew, ah I was in seventh heaven till Sunday when I came home and came down with a rather large bump to earth.

I tried to load my dongle and again play with my beauty but it was here fate conspired against and for me.

After a trip to the apple store, the nice tech man tells me that due to the Mac Technology the Phone companies haven’t quite got the technology to play correctly with the Macs.

WHAT!! (Ensue internal profanities! @£$%^&*) There is hope at the end of the

Tunnel Orange seem to be the only provider that have got off their backsides and taken up the challenge, but the launch of their new dongle is 17th November.

(another round of internal profanity !@£$%^&*!@£$%^&)

Due to the fact that I use said computer for E-mails, Oh my poor clients, I hope they don’t think I was ignoring them.

Anyway as I use said computer for work, I Had to phone a company to get broadband installed in my house, the kicker is that I have to wait till the 24th of September, before I can play online at home.

So having to make changes via friends comp while at work, and can play at the weekend at friends till I can get it all sorted.

I had to get a new computer, and I was planning broadband, but I had a plan and as much as I like adventure this little jaunt is going to cost me.

The joke is I have a contract for a dongle that I cannot use.

Those idiots are so in breach of contract, and I am so not paying for something that I can’t use.

At no point do any of the phone companies state that their technology is incompatible with Macintosh.

Their supposed, upgrade to snow leopard is a farce and I couldn’t even get it to play with my computer, let alone get online with it.

And the best thing is, The phone companies have known for ages about this and still sit on their ass, extraordinary wouldn’t you agree, considering that a lot of people are now using Macintosh rather than Microsoft.


I did manage to get my dongle to work eventually after trawling the internet for all sorts, but I still wanted to rant at the injustice.

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Travel, Work, and Summer Holidays

Travel, gah honestly…

Don’t get me wrong I had a wonderful time in the country’s capital (London).

I am seriously impressed with both the people that live there and who use that infernal contraption to travel around to get to work.

I got off at Euston on Monday feeling fairly happy with myself that I was actually in London after all you fella’s asking when I was coming to London, but my entire happy joy, joy mood was ruined by the time I got across London to work.

I spent the best part of Sunday planning what I was going to wear, what I was carrying (luggage wise) etc, and so Monday morning arrives and I get showered dressed and apply small amount of make up (not that I wear much anyway) I pack my work equiptment and set off…
I arrive early at Milton Keynes station and have a coffee, then I jump on the train…
Mission accomplished me thinks…

Wrong! Oh I had no idea how wrong I was about to be proved.

When I finally reached my destination, I was covered in sweat, honestly between running for tubes and the stifling heat on the underground, plus the heat above ground, all my careful prep went right out the window.

I got in dropped my bags and stood for 5 mins just trying to catch my breath, ok so I had made it but I was soaked in sweat felt muggy and dirty and on top of which I had gents to see…

*mental scream of frustration ensued*

So I had to shower again, re-apply all that carefully painted make up, and get my fresh clothes out.

After that I felt so much better and relaxed about the whole thing, I managed to have a wonderful day in the capital.

I think sometimes knowing that all your best laid plans can change in the blink of an eye, helps you realise that life is always quirky, and never follows what you want or need, but that’s just how it works at times.

So, work is all over the place at the moment, and lots of different changes to my schedule, bless I am hoping that you fella’s are keeping up.

My Coventry jaunt and my Friday in MK haven’t changed, just my Mondays, I have yet to baton down the hatches on that particular day so I guess my fella’s will just have to watch out for the changes.

I can say that between work, my pole dancing and the rest of my extra caricular activities I can safely say that when my day is done I am quite happy to fall into bed and I’m asleep before my head hit’s the pillow.
Though with my cat stealing my pillow half the time I normally have living fur encircling my head and purring contentedly.
Anyone who owns cats will appreciate when I say that there is something soothing about a cat purring.
Mind you I draw the line when she try’s to take half my face off with her tongue.
Yes my cat likes to give me a bath, it’s the salt on your skin, just in case anyone wanted to know why cat’s lick you…

Anywho, I was digressing…

Six weeks, of screaming kids, and can I have, and I want,… oh joy.!!
Parents have learned to dread the six weeks holidays, because they spend an inordinate amount of cash, not just on our little cherubs, but on sitters, playschools, activity weeks (like football) water balloons, water guns, paddling pools (because you just know, the expensive one you bought last year has a hole in it!) friends sleeping over, more junk food than kids should conceivably have, and of course you have to take them on holiday!!!

So you have the hassle of flights/car journey, and the bit you know your totally dreading comes up…

Four little words designed to drive adults to distraction.

Even people without children of their own know these words… can you guess what they are…

Yes boys and girls that infernal phrase “ Are we there yet?”

If it was just the once I think we would all be happy campers, but seriously that phrase was made to drive all parents round the bend,
Because it’s not just once our darling cherubs say it, it’s every 5 minutes after the first time, and because they are bored.

Patience is a virtue, and one I can say is, frankly in short supply in the summer months.

Spend all year working to go on holiday with your darling kids, and all they can say is “are we there yet?”
Do they not know that this is our holiday too, that we have spent all year working so we can spend quality time with them?
Of course not because that is the beauty of being a child, you can be as annoying as hell and it’s expected cause you’re still growing up, you still don’t understand all the finer nuances that adults do.
You don’t care that your mommy or daddy has worked all year long and put in copious amounts of overtime just to make sure you get to meet Mickey Mouse at breakfast, or spend all day jetting down water slides, and having kiddies clubs activities.
All they see is the goodies not the effort required to get the goodies.

*anyone else wishing they were a kid again right now? I know I am*

Anyway to all you parents out there… Happy holidays.

Anyway enough ramblings for now.

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

If you had to cook dinner for someone tonight, what would you make?

I would cook a roast beef dinner with all the trimmings, served with a nice red wine.

Ask me anything

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

If you could go only to one restaurant for the next five years, which would it be?

Waggamamas, healthy, refreshing and a bit of everything on the menu, Though I would be dying for a buger after the year was up. LOL

Ask me anything

If you could make one person fall in love with you who would it be?

No-one, I could never take someones choice away from them like that.
I would always know that I got them by false means and that would destroy who I am as a person.

Ask me anything

What was your favorite book as a child?

now what were they called...
Goosebumps? or something like that, they were fantasy horror which I was enthralled with, But my real love affair began with Anne Rice and teh Vampire Lestat, at 13.

Ask me anything

What one thing are you exceptionally bad at?

staying quiet, lol if I'm not talking in person I'm talking online.
unless I have something in my mouth of course. Manners you know lol

Ask me anything

How would you describe your style?

I wouldn't, I don't have a style, if I like it I will wear it.

Ask me anything

You have a very striking 'look', do you attract the red head lovers more than others? I think yer bloody gorgeous, having met you in the flesh : )

I don't know Dolly, every time I ask why me? they say cause the hair so I guess so.

I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you are one sexy lady... Sigh, if only you were Bi... ;)

Ask me anything

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

High class hookers and spaghetti hoops

Well it would seem that something of a conundrum has popped up.

(minds out of the gutters boys, we have serious hats on today … *snort* like that is going to happen)

Ahem, As I was saying…

A question came to fore of my attention, sometimes this happens in the escort industry, usually at least once a year sometimes more…
That question is always fraught with by plays, prat falls, and of course several camps of people who believe they are in the right… Oh wait that is the norm for any question or thread on the boards.

The question was this…

Do posters believe there are different classes of WG and classes of punter? Is there such a thing as a high class WG, if so what makes them high class in your opinion?

If you consider yourself to be a high class punter what makes you believe this?

Now, let me have a look at this in three stages.
( Strap yourselves in this could be a long one, like your science teacher trying to explain the process of photosynthesis )

First is the ‘class’ or ‘caste’ structure

Second individual responses and various outside forces that could directly affect the outcome

And thirdly… spaghetti hoops

It will all make sense my lovelies I promise * cackle inserted here*

Ok so class or caste structure…
Do I really have to explain this? No,ok moving on then…

Now class structure in prostitution comes from and revolves around the original class structure.
That Infers that the rich could afford to keep a ‘mistress’ ‘courtesan’ and the lower classes used either brothels and or street prostitutes.

As time has gone on though this class structure seems to have stuck within prostitution. To varying degrees.

The four classified are these.

Independent escort (with her own premises or out-calls)
Brothel/parlour worker.
And street worker

Point 2...

Well various answers were given, As to why some Working girls use this term, Or why some men use this reference to certain ladies they have seen.

From working ladies only use this as a marketing tool, and men use it to justify paying a higher price...


The answer I liked the most, Which was this…
Provided by a user on Punternet.

  • So, for my twopenceworth on some of the qualities exhibited in (my idea of) a classy person, I'd expect to see many of the following characteristics:

  • Modesty without conceit. Self-assurance without arrogance.
  • Honesty with discretion. ("only the very stupid, the very rude or very young, never lie").
  • A sense of style, without necessarily being fashionable or trendy.
  • Conscientiousness without sanctimony.
  • Demands high-standards of themselves without being elitist towards others.
  • A charitableness of spirit.
  • Serenity.
  • Intelligence (without a propensity to over-intellectualize).
  • Humour.
  • And, perhaps controversially, I'd also expect them to take care to look after themselves physically. With no offence directed towards those who don't (and I include myself :o ) - I believe that it's harder to attain many of the above qualities if we tend towards self-indulgence or negligence.

  • *Clearly Ravishing beauty isn't a pre-requisite (I'd imagine that the vanity that often seems to comes with the package doesn't help with 'modesty without conceit): that said, physical beauty, like good brains, does help to warm-up a sense of appreciation.

So if we take this as standard
(hypothetically, please stay with me I know half of you want to sleep.)

Then we have what we should in theory consider High class…

Point 3.
spaghetti hoops.

I was in the chat-room two evenings ago and I was invariably discussing some random idiosyncrasies with a fellow chatter, namely he asked what I was up to, as I seemed distracted. My reply was simple I was eating Heinz spaghetti on toast, (not hoops) his response almost had me choking on said food supply. ( I can’t say meal here, as this is not a meal.)

“ Oh Tammy you are so classy”

Now this was further conversed as to how we both cut our toast, me depending on how I am feeling will either put the spaghetti on the toast or will cut it into halves and put the spaghetti in the middle of a square made up of toast and use the toast like a pita bread or spoon to eat.

I don’t like spaghetti hoops as they taste rather odd to me compared with normal Heinz spaghetti. (Yes boys and girls, we are talking about out of a can food source)
So of course I then became a normal non classy person because obviously I don’t like hoops…
Of course it went further to include those odd little sausages they put in, we both agreed that the sausages with spaghetti or hoops was not good, but that the ones in the baked beans from Heinz were ok.

*Must stop digressing*

This got my little cogs turning…
(Yes oddly enough I do have brain synapses firing in my delirious head.)

From someone who possibly considered me ‘classy’ and for those who consider certain girls as ‘High class’ which I have been called on one or two occasions, by others I might add…

Here is what I think and my conclusion to this totally long thesis… opps Blog

Can you really tell someone is high class by a small amount of set up circumstances?
Or classy for that matter?

Now I have been to every type of function, from Ballet, Opera, to a wedding as a clients + 1.
I have worked in a parlour, I have done my own independent work, I am of reasonable (I think) Intelligence.
I have at one point or another, embodied all of the ‘traits,’ of what we agreed we would use as ‘standard' (hypothetical) of what high class means in terms of escorts.
I would not be so arrogant, to say I embody all of those traits at all times, because I may have to be a saint for that, but anyway, I am digressing again…

But can you really be ‘high class’ or ‘classy’ when at the end of the day you come home throw on a pair of baggy pants, and a comfy t-shirt, sit in front of a TV and or computer screen, and eat spaghetti on toast.

Personally I would think someone of high class stature would be eating escargot and supping the finest Bollinger, but that is just me.

So spare a thought for the girls you think this of, and of the men, because let's be frank about this we are all human and we all occasionally drink out of the milk carton, eat chocolate spread off a spoon, ( I defy anyone to say nutella out of a jar is not, just yummy) or sat down and watched some trash TV.

You can only every be what you are, and sometimes I am classy, and sometimes I am not.
And that is how I like it!!


Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Giggle, for the wait...

I am having some timing issues, so until I can get the 'Hookers and Spaghetti hoops' Blog up...

For your entertainment...

Tammy proudly presents the best giggle I have had in a week...

Monday, 7 June 2010



Oh right I forget… you don’t all have wicked mind reading skills like me…

Sorry had my sister here for a week my poor brain is a little frazzled over the montage of various forms of speech…( in lay mans terms I am totally frazzled with the street talk).

Anyway, back to my slightly overdue announcement.

I passed my driving test.

I know people I do, I was supposed to pass at 17 so a 25yr old female passing her driving test is not the most fabulous achievement in the world, but to me it is.

I am totally ecstatic with myself, and I am sure my happy, joy, joy mood has rubbed off ,somewhat literally in some cases to my boys. And in my life in general.

Let me set the scene for you and take you on a little story…

It was a lovely sunny day 3 and half years ago, I had passed my driving theory the week previous and I was insured to drive my own car, my mother in law( more like Boyfriends mother) was redecorating and we had decided to take the car to home base to grab some bits namely some underlay for the laminate flooring we were in the process of laying.
Anyway as you should know… You can legally drive in Britain as long as you have a fully licensed driver who has held a UK licence for over 3 years, and are insured on the vehicle in question.
So on the way home I was stationary at a roundabout, due to the long line of fairly fast moving traffic coming to my right, and my hand break was on, as I wasn’t going anywhere, when I get jolted forward, almost hitting my face on the steering wheel and ending up with whiplash.

I got hit by a stupid female at 30mph while stationary, My only silver lining was that I had my hand break on, cause if I hadn’t I would have been hit straight into oncoming traffic.

Her excuse when she got out to swap insurance details with me was this… I didn’t see you!
( Brain screaming …HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT SEE ME! At this point)

Anyway… after that I got a bit shaky and rather self conscious about driving, Most drivers at some point think about a crash, and those who crash after they have their licence usually get back in the car, but as I was at that point just a learner it threw my confidence for six, I spent the next two years dreading going back into lessons or driving in case it happened again and I had a child, so what if I wasn’t so lucky the next time?
Anyway just before the end of this year something snapped and I decided I was being seriously stupid about this.
I didn’t cause the accident, my driving skills weren’t in question, it wasn’t like I could have moved even if I had seen her come from behind me, because I had no where to go other than into oncoming traffic which would have resulted in a larger accident.

So I decided that I really had to just do it and get it over with.

I did an assessment with an instructor who told me I only needed about ten hours lessons then I would sit my test, of course I had to re-pass the theory again, which I was annoyed about as I had already passed it, but as I had left it so long I had to re-sit.
I am pleased to say that on both occasions of sitting the theory test I am still in the top 2% of the UK who passed it with 100% pass on the questions and within the 98% mark for the hazard perception part.

So that was the easy bit,…
I spent the day of my test a bundle of nerves… I got to the test centre and I was surprised to find that the examiner was someone from my past, I admit that eased my nerves a bit.
Not that he went easy on me cause he didn’t, but it just felt a bit personal rather than me feeling all at odds with some stranger.
I know I am weird. But still…

Back at the test centre when he told me I had passed, I almost passed out from shock, no joke I just couldn’t believe I had passed my driving test after all that worry.
I think I was so set that I would fail from nerves that I never let myself hope even for a second that I could pass because if I did and failed I think I would have been so disappointed that I doubt I would take the test again.

So now my next adventure… well lets see, I have already started taking a pass plus course, and I plan to take an advanced driving course, just because I think some memories can stay with you for such a long time, and I will feel most comfortable knowing that I have done everything possible to make me the safest driver I can be.

I will buy a car, but not for a few months yet, all those other things to sort out first and I am in no rush, I figure I will be driving for a lifetime what’s a few months more, besides I haven’t decided what car I would like yet. Lol

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Life loves and Technology

Well once again I seem to be lagging in the writing department, even though I have been writing, just not for this Blog or my gents.
I think I really need a ghost writer whom I can dictate to, and that should hopefully free me up somewhat.
Well my book writing has been coming on but alas other areas of writing have suffered which is a shame, but I suppose being, just human, I can’t do it all.

I know Tony you think I am superwoman so I won’t burst your bubble to much. Lol

My loves in my life are my family my writing and my passions for various hobbies.

My writing seems to be coming on a storm, my family are thriving, and my various hobbies are coming on nicely.

I have been making friends with some stallions who are huge(keep your dirty minds on track) and so fantastically wonderful, well other than the one small incident Charlie brown as I have nicknamed him, decided that I had mints of some kind in my pocket (which I didn’t) and tried to get them out, needless to say I got nipped, and my top got a hole in it.
I don’t mind sacrificing the fashion, but my skin I kind of need.

I was happy that at least my tetanus is up to date as I didn’t relish a trip to the doctors to be stabbed in the ass ( I know they don’t have to inject you in the bum any more.)

So after my nipping by fire, I decided that I really fancied taking a ride… no I didn’t ride Charlie Brown as he is not mine, but I did call and book a few hours riding at a local stables.

I have another round of those awful appointments that I don’t want coming up this week, namely for my cat, so that should be fun, not!
Don’t get me wrong I love my puss, but I don’t like the hustle and bustle to get her to the vets.
But I will be happy when she gets the all clear despite the tremendous effort that goes into it.

As you know I am needing to get a new laptop( I know this one seems to be almost dead, poor thing) What can I say me and technology just don’t get on.
So I was browsing a few things and I came across the I-pad now this little device in perfect for me.

I love the look the possibilities and of course it is completely portable.
I can keep my Blog, website, etc up to date on the go I can play with twitter a bit more, and I can keep diary of all my appointments on the screen that will bleep and pop up at me when they need to ( like Cat vet 2pm)
I can design new and funny things with the applications the possibilities are very, very, cool to me.

Now I just got to save up the pennies to get me one.
(Goes off to drool obsessively. )

Ok I’m back…

They are not that expensive but still, enough that I have to save for a few weeks before I can get one, though knowing me I am sure I will find other things to be paying for, before I end up getting one.
Like doing more decorating… I am putting it off, I don’t want to paint EVER again.

I think I may have to just call in a decorator.
I can paint I think I just get so frustrated with it as I like it to be perfect and if it’s not well…

Anyway I think I will nip off for a shower and get myself ready for the day being a lazy moo this morning.

Tammy x

Friday, 7 May 2010


First of my funny fridays posts are up, I created thier own page so that you guys can find them easier.

Hope you enjoy them as much as me.

Anyway I also wanted to add this to here... just because I am feeling all 'fluffy'...

I had a fantastically wonderful day again this Wednesday with Chloe.

I don’t know what it is with the West Midlands Boys, must be something in the water!

We were pampered and ravished all day. So cheers guys once again for making out weekly jaunt to Coventry worth while and exciting.

I am travelling more and more these days it would seem with a trip to Rugby on the dance card tonight.

I am looking into doing a trip to London with Chloe, can you imagine, me in the hustle and bustle of London. Logistical nightmare anyone? Lol

I know I am not the greatest with directions, but hey I think I may just manage it.
As I said at the moment it’s just a possibility, but if you would like to see me in London or are in favour of me making a gallant trip to the ‘BIG CITY’ then drop me a line.

I won’t bore everyone with details of my fantastical adventures, but I will say this …

I can honestly say that I am happy in my line of work.
Sure I get a few bad eggs but I try my hardest not to let it spoil the barrel and I always manage to get one guy who comes in and sweeps me off my feet and makes my job completely worthwhile.

So thanks to you fantastical creatures who make me feel proud to be a service provider.

Monday, 3 May 2010

Funny Fridays…

I propose that there is not enough fun in the world and so I will be adding a page to this blog and posting funny anecdotes that I have come across in my week that have made me laugh…

I am hoping that this will help cheer up some of my gloomier friends and patients ( yes Nurse Tammy to the rescue)…

I have noticed of late that instead of the spring cheer there has been somewhat of a winter whiplash in the effect of being gloomy, now this is normally caused by lack of daylight in most patients and lack of upstanding men and women making each other laugh, usually the winter blues is the cause…
So I have designated myself Nurse Cheer and decided that I will scroll through endless supplies of funnies to find you the laughter material that is needed to make this spring one of Joy.
Of course I will also be taking my usual assortment of extra ciricular activities and giving some patients some serious one to one medical help to really chase those blues away.

If you would like to apply to have a particular funny that tickled your bones featured then feel free to e-mail me and I will take a look.

Also required will be a research assistant who will assess each case on it’s merits to see if it qualifies, for a more in depth search for those blues.

Much loves for now

Tammy x

Monday, 19 April 2010

Manic Weeks

I missed my deadline...

Oh drat and I was doing so well, don't you just hate it when life intrudes and you find that, all your hard work and effort just got swept away on the rising tide that was people trying to get your attention...

Tammy can you do this, Tammy can you do that? please Tammy I need this favour...

Argggg, it's one of those really annoying bugbears, that everything bad, or remotely not good, must come all at the same time, untill you are drowning in so much crap that you wished you had noticed the elephant in the room so much earlier than you did,.. (yes that is an old joke)

And of course you can only deal with one crisis at a time, but when they all hit at once which one do you pick and how can you even pick one over the other?

I should be bogged down in tables and pie charts to see who needed help more, and how urgent each case was, but as always I didn't and I ran around like a headless chicken and made do with how much I could give...

That's all you can do right?

Rant over now onto the good stuff lol

So I was catching up on some much needed loving this past week... from of course my lovely gents, and I got asked this question...

How do you know what to say during sex?

I answered thus... well I don't really I suppose I just say what is in my head.

But I suppose to this Gent whom I know reads my blog, I can supply this ...

Please click for a larger version ( I don't expect you to be able to read it, when it is this size :P)

Maybe this will help you.

Anyway... Lets see what else...

Oh yes between doctors and vets and traveling to see family I will be extreamly busy again this week, not to mention my Birmingham mini tour coming up on Wednesday.

I am wondering if I should print this and hang it on my hotel door... Though I am thinking it may cause a few to many stares and a possible knock on the door, it did tickle my funnybone though, and I thought I would share.

Anyway I best be dashing off for now...more of the dastardly appointments (of the not so nice kind) to over-see.

P.S I apoligise for any typo's as I was rushing this...

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Birmingham here I come...

I decided that I fancied, boinking the boys in Brum.

So I am offski to Birmingham on the 21st of April, to boink and bounce...

The duo will be going on there too, so woooo...

Should be lots of fun.

If you want to book an appointment with me or us on that date give me a tinkle, or drop a mail in my box, and I will get back to you xxx

Monday, 12 April 2010

The English Riddle.

This is an nursery rhyme written in english... can you work it out?
Click on the picture to enlarge it. answer in the next blog.

Sunday, 11 April 2010

The unfolding hilarities of the worker’s tools.

Ok as most of you know, and for those who don’t…

I use and frequent a few forums, message boards, etc.
Some are for paid advertisements which of course makes them a work tool.
Bit like a CNC machine or computer for the office worker.
And some I use to be able to speak and keep connected with the larger community of ‘workers’ in my field.

In all honesty I don’t have the time to look at all the threads etc so some I just look at because they catch my eye or because someone has drawn my attention to them.

Anyway upon reading two separate threads on two separate boards one which took my fancy and the other I was directed to, I happened upon these two wonderful pictures which rather took my fancy in the humour department…

The first was from Punternet courtesy of Northwinds. And made me very unladylike-ly spit my tea all over my keyboard and through my nose.
I must say at this point tea up the nose is quite ticklish and rather like getting chlorine up your nose when at the swimming baths painfully ticklish with that quaint undercurrent of eek added in.

So thank you Northwinds for my *giggle snort* of the day it made me chuckle. Mwah x

The second was from punterchat and was posted by Plod who found the picture in the Newspaper, and I found it funny and quite perversely liked the sign… was considering adding it as my uploaded picture.

Needless to say I won’t be… lol

But still the uses of the boards have been both a great tool and have generated some fun moments for me…

And on this note I will leave you with one of my favourite funnies, to an all round funny post.

There Are At Least EIGHT Types Of ORGASM FOR A WOMAN.

1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes...............

2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No.................

3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No.........

4. The Traveller - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming..........

5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh God......................

6. The Usurer - Ahh, More, More, More..................

7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you take it out, I'll kill you

8. The Submariner - Mmm...OHHH...Deeper...Deeper... GO DEEPER!!

Friday, 9 April 2010

Spring is here!!!

Spring is in the air…

And I felt the need looking at my little house on the prairie, that it needed some TLC.
So I decided that this weekend between bouts of fun, with the ‘family’ I would and most definitely shall do my spring cleaning,

Now that I have made a list of what I want doing, what needs doing and what doesn’t, I find myself feeling rather daunted by this spring cleaning mi-larky.

I seem to manage each year to accumulate the biggest amount of stuff that I never use, and hide it away, (for yet undiscovered purposes) I am sure when I buy this stuff there must be a purpose to it, and I just either never get round to using them or I forget that I have them and think ‘oh yeah I forgot I had that’ when I invariably come across it several months down the line.

Now I know that this is the 21st century and we should all be doing it as we go along, but as you know I am quite nostalgic and I like to keep this tradition, of ‘spring cleaning’ even though I do clean as I go.

By the way did you know that spring cleaning goes back to the Neanderthal days of the human existence, and was for the purpose of clearing the cave of bones and debris, when the spring broke, it was a celebration, and marked the coming spring and it’s bountiful harvest that was yet to come to fruition.

So now that I have some nice days and my clock is all out of sorts, don’t know if any of you are having the same problem… I am so used to setting or judging time by the setting of the sun for the past few months that I was rather out of sorts when the clock went to British summer time, so rather than making my dinner by the setting of the sun (around 6pm) I found myself flummoxed for the last week and having my dinner late, due to the lack of sunset, I am sure my inner clock will re-set itself in the next week, but I do find myself thinking it’s earlier than it is because of the extended sunshine.

No complaints about the weather though it’s been a beautiful spring so far, with a nice mixture of rain and sunshine, which of course always puts a smile on most peoples faces.

So instead of cosy nights in by a warm fire and some chocolate, or snuggling under the covers for body heat. My sizzling summer maiden is straining at the leash for some fun, she wants picnics in the park, al fresco fun, long evenings sipping cool wine, and lots of summer attire, fresh funky dresses, nice breathable cotton, to allow the air to caress the skin. And little mini-skirts, to let those legs of mine find their freedom.

Well anyway off to raid my cupboards and wardrobe to see what I can find, as suddenly with the thoughts of all spring and summer brings I am not so daunted by the prospect of my spring clean.

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Ramblings of a muse.

Prolific blogging

Or not…

I never seem to find the time between actually working, being a mommy, and doing my other various activities to sit down and write all the strange and delightful things that happen to me (or sometimes not)
Time vs. Activities = no fluid blogs.

I would love to be able to sit and just type up a Blog at least once a week, (asking for more would be like asking for the titanic not to sink!)
Anyway as I have a new one I will make more of an effort to update it, I usually get about a two hour window every month or so and thrash out about 6 in one hit, not conducive I know, but, I do so much and finding the time, and by that I don’t mean at 3 am, it can be a bit iffy.
I usually find that my creative side gets a good hit at 3 am though, mind you if you ask any artist (and I don’t profess to be one) they mostly say the same.
The muse hit’s me at odd hours and doesn’t want to shift her working hours, women eh!

Anyway… I will get better at this blogging thing as I hope to be able to write more often it’s a passion of mine.

Some of it will be meaningless drivel, I hope to add some funnies, and some serious contents too.

But this is just a insight to little ole me, so you can share is some of my life’s anecdotes.

My Lunch date with the enchanting Jasmin


Ah the wonderful enchanting Jasmin.

As I stated in my Blog about the pictures, After I left I managed to get on the tube again…
After getting lost once (only once was a miracle for me) I managed to get myself after 40 mins to the tube station in which the lovely Jasmin was to pick me up.

But first some background…

Jasmin and I have been talking on Punternet on the chat-room for quite a while now, and we have always said we would like to meet for coffee or something, having never really gotten into the whole social escort or escort and punter meets, and after one attempt which did not go so well for me, I decided to tell Jasmine that I would be in London on Thursday the 1st of April if she fancied meeting up for some lunch, and she to my utter amazement and good fortune said yes, we swapped numbers and I dutifully told her I would call when done with said photo-shoot…

Anyway day of arrival and I am at the train station waiting for the Euston train when low and behold I get a text pop up…

Hi darling I don’t want to take you to lunch so I cooked for you.

Now at this point you could say my heart melted, I love home cooked food, don’t get me wrong I love to eat out, but there is something about home cooked food that someone has prepared for you that just makes you feel special, and this Lady was going to make me feel like a goddess.

So I alighted my train with some trepidation, as with all things my mind wandered back to my days of being taught good manners and running through my lists of do’s and don’ts at other peoples houses…
So I got off at my station and got on the underground a feat in itself, anyone who knows me knows I don’t have the best sense of direction…

So I arrived and did my photo-shoot, and called when it was done…
I was told my directions from the lovely Jasmin, and managed by some miracle not to get lost (I am sure it was her directions more than my travelling skills I assure you.)

So after 40 mins one lost moment and a near perfect ride, I wait dutifully outside the station to be picked up…
She turns up! (whisper thank you ,god, Allah, Buddha, goddess, saint nick, and anyone else who made this possible) In a nice car (I won’t say what kind) was a very cool little car, and of course it’s driver was stunning…
Such a beautiful lady, wearing a nice little black number (though how she can drive in heels is beyond me cause I can’t …jealous much …me? Of course :P)
Anyway we get to her place, and take our shoes off, which as she has cream carpets I would be telling people to be taking their darned shoes off too.
So up the stairs and I have a OMG rude much moment… I am trying not to look and stare all at the same time, as it would be rude to stare at someone’s house and d├ęcor…
But I must say this woman has style, and class and elegance and not only is it written all over her, but all over her house too.
It’s an immaculate stunning place of residence, one I would happily move into just to be there.

Anyway, I am digressing and am likely to be killed for divulging anything more…
The table was set prior to my arrival, and it was really nice just to enjoy the homey feelings that were pouring over me, this boys and girls is one place that will put you right at ease, and totally relax you.
So after attending the ladies room( and yes I did wash my hands thank you very much) Jasmin showed me her lush collection of Sari’s and offered me a mint green one, which I would have to have made (the top part) But as it was stunning and so her colour I declined even though she wanted me to have it.

So on to dinner, where I had home made chicken biriani (sp?)
Samosas and spring rolls and some chicken things that I can’t remember the name of (sorry babe)

The biriani, was exquisite ( having tasted what the local Indian call food, and what another friend once cooked me) I would have to say that home cooked Indian is far better and more eloquent in taste and texture.
Bay leafs filled the kitchen with a subtle yet alluring scent, fresh carrots gave it a stunning colour,
Cinnamon added a touch of sweet spice, and that was just a small fraction of what hit your taste buds.
My mouth watered at the smell of this luscious food being cooked.
The spring rolls and Samosas were made from hand, as were the other little chicken thingy’s
The spring rolls were fresh and crisp from the pastry ( question is … is it a pastry? I don’t know enough about Indian cuisine so any mistakes are mine and mine alone, and this is not from ignorance just that I have never really had the chance to ask someone about them) wet and fresh inside.
Now some spring rolls end up mushy inside but these were just perfect.
The Samosas were not to spicy and just mouth watering. I could quite happily have eaten the whole batch but manners dictated not to be greedy.
The little chicken thingy’s had the texture on the outside of being rolled in bread crumbs so were crispy and fresh, and Damn they set my mouth on fire with the chicken filling…( really must remember what Jasmin called them.)But my god I had to fan my tongue afterwards.

Now I am not a fan of spice and Jasmin knows this and toned down the spices when she cooked for me so I don’t want you all thinking that she cooked spicy food cause I was coming, though now I think about it, maybe she did to get rid of me :P ( that was a joke)

I like Indian just a spiced down version of it, But all in all my mouth watered and I couldn’t wait to for my next mouthful, it was a beautifully made dinner with an exquisite array of tastes textures, and overall wonderful full belly feeling.

She then plied me with what can only be considered a threat to any diet that you would happen to be on, luckily I am not on one, so when she presented for me, a luxurious chocolate fudge cake, that was rich in flavour and moist to the point of melting in your mouth, well what is a girl to say…

It’s Madam you are surely spoiling me no? ( add fake French accent)

I was in seventh heaven, sitting on the sofa in the most wonderful company I can imagine full of perfectly cooked home made Indian cuisine and chocolate fudge cake, and I was seriously debating if I could stow away in her closet…

She is without a doubt the most charming ladylike sweet caring and enigmatic person I have had the privilege to meet in a long time… and if I was shown half of the care and devotion she has, then her clients are darned lucky to have her as their companion.

My Photo-shoot milarky

New pictures

Which are already up, yes I did say I was lax at this blogging thing, I am getting better…
Anyway Pictures were due and done on the 1st of April 2010, what a farce…

I got up at 7 got everything ready, or thought I did, got to the train station and I had a gent walk up to me and ask for a light, then he says… your Chloe right?
Err no darling’ I’m the other one I would be Tammy.
Of course I have no make up on, I am in travel clothes, and my hair is tied up in a pony tail, Just perfect I thinks…

Not that I don’t look good or close to what I do with make up, but I guess it’s a defence thing you know…
Anyway I feel uncomfortable and the gent is talking to me… err just to clarify I am not on working hours.

Did we not cover don’t approach WG’s in the street in the 101 that all clients get?… It’s a BIG NO! NO!
Not cause we don’t want to talk to you out of office hours but you don’t know what we are doing and you are intruding on our personal time and space.

Anyway, that totally threw my whole head space out of sync, my lists of things I needed to accomplish where I had to be, travel directions, what platforms and stations for the tube, did I have everything, etc, etc.

So I am polite and courteous, and carry on about my arrangement in a less than orderly fashion, as my head is now in dis-array.

I manage to get on the train, and get off at Euston only to look up as the train pulls in to find the same gent getting off the same carriage, now I deliberately use the opposite exit, to exit and hope that he hasn’t noticed me.. No such luck he then strikes up a further conversation, by this point my head is seriously considering getting back on the train, and making a swift exit, but I made a date with my photographer and had already called him to confirm that morning that I would arrive at 11am promptly. So my mind thinks banalities what can I say without sounding rude, because I am not by nature a rude person, and it comes up with how dull and lifeless Euston station is, architecturally, unbeknownst to me the guy is into that, that’s it Tammy my brain scream pick the only topic that the guy knows about…
Anyway after making a few comments, I pipe up well got to dash take care and scarper like a tornado.

I get onto the underground and manage without fuss to get to my photographers in South Kensington. Kudos to me for that, least I didn’t get lost this time…

I am there at 11am sharp, I get my kit out for the pictures only to discover that I have not in fact got all my checklist (which was in my head) and can now do nothing about it, Drat and double Drat.
On top of which I noticed my zipper burst and I had been walking about London with a burst zipper, well at least I now knew why I had all the funny looks off complete strangers… oh well.

So the shoot progresses, and by the end I am totally exhausted… not cause I did a work out or anything else but the mental preparation and getting there then having the shoot, was not as orderly as I would have liked…

So once the shots were done I got dressed and Called Jasmin, whom I was to have lunch with and told her I would be about an hour… and I will leave it there and let you read my Jasmin Blog.

Monday, 5 April 2010

All the kerfuffle...Over Updates.

Ok since I decided to update my website and re-size it, I noticed that my blog no longer fit and the chaps can’t read it, so I created this one…
I shifted all the old blogs over here so you can have a gander (also why the blog about Xmas is posted in April) LOL.

Anyway this is a short blog to say that anything posted before this message was from my blog on the website and I am up-dating so please don’t tell me it’s all skee whiffy as I know and am working on rectifying it LOL

Much loves…


Well after trying hard to work out all the gadgets and gismos on AW(phew I managed it at last) I think I am on the right track. Give a girl an option she is happy, give her to many and well ... lol Extensive research is a part of this line of work, I’m telling you we should have it on the national curriculum how to be an escort, with an exam at the end of the year, (a written one you dirty men) Honestly sometimes your minds are so dirty, I don’t know what I would do without you, it’s delicious. I think it's just a case of, try and if you don't get it first time round try harder. AW is a tool like any tool in any industry you have to know how to use it and like any tool it does have it’s downfalls, and not always up to scratch. But since hundreds of escorts use it successfully I thought I would give it a bash, after saying I wouldn’t … I know girls prerogative to change her mind, anyway digressing again. So I managed to figure most of it out.. I managed to work out the profile, gallery, and AW interview, all by my lonesome. Adding number and getting credits and paying for listings… well that came after. I joined AW back in 2008 but never did anything with it, I was busy and didn’t have the time to work out all the options and buttons, so about 6 weeks ago I decided to give it another bash…I managed the profile the interview and the gallery no problem and left it at that. Now I decided that I would show my profile locally and show my number..(could be a mistake or could work out great I will have to reserve judgement for later)Well what a farce, I goofed it then couldn’t work some things out then had a friend show me and still goofed it or thought I had and finally realised that I hadn’t goofed it at all I had done it the way it was meant to be done. Trouble is they don’t tell you that something is complete they give you another option without telling you that your done, and would you like to do something else, so you think your not done, make sense? No didn’t to me either, and that was my point LOL Well now it’s all sorted I can go and do my washing up, ho-hum.

Expenses and Advertising

Oh dear oh dear, anyone wanting to be an escort, needs to look at all the angles, it’s not all lay on your back and have a jolly good old time, or knees or any other position you care to think of…I have spent the better part of two weeks sorting out adverts and paying expenses. Between three different sites for adverts, (all three well known see if you can spot them) considering other sites for adverts, putting up free adverts,( well if they’re there might as well it’s only a banner exchange after all) and travelling to accommodate my clients, I think I can now class myself as organized. And here was I thinking that website maintenance was the only worry…I think the list never ends I still have loads to do, and not enough hours to do it all in, and of course I have 20 odd mails a day saying the same thing… WE OFFER GREAT SERVICES WITH OUR ADVERTISED PROFILES DOUBLE YOUR WORK etc *yawn* most of them I haven’t even looked at just put them straight in the delete folder, don’t be mistaken in thinking I opened the others I didn’t… My fingers slipped on the cursor on the laptop and those opened, so I still binned them. Got to love the spam mail though seems that every escort profile agency wants me on their website to promote me,(at of course a price), some of them are from abroad too. I would be flattered except I’m not that naive or stupid, shame though I could give away all my money if I was… LOL Expenses:, taxi’s trains, condoms, mints, shower gels, baby wipes, mouth wash, shoes (yes they are an expense if I use them for work only) new outfits or undies, lunches I have to buy or make my own lunches, hotel bills, toy supplies, and the batteries that go with them… the list goes on and on, like the Duracell battery only not so much fun to watch, in fact it’s down right painful. My poor accountant. But mostly the trains and taxi’s are the big hitters for me, have travel will cost…So poor me (literally) all my pennies are out the door for another month ( yes boys those are my monthly bills for work alone.)By the by I don’t buy shoes every month just every two but everything else is a monthly love affair with me and my computer and a lot of random numbers. Once upon a time I thought being organized was getting up and adding my days work stuffs to a bag having a shower and being out the door by 10am…It’s no wonder I need a dance class just to de-stress, kudos to all the guys who stare at computers day in and out , my brain fry’s if I do it for more than 3 hours a day sorting that lot out.

Snow fall and Slipping in it

...not in that way you dirty minded people…(you know you all read that as slipping it in, rather than slipping in it).Nice deep snow, not so great for the roads and cars, (unless the gritters have the grit to grit)I prefer deep snow while it plays havoc with the road systems up and down Britain you don’t slide or slip in it. This mushy sleety snow which covers the ground, but because it’s wet underneath you put your foot down and bang your looking up at various people who are trying hard not to laugh or giving you that sympathetic look that’s says poor you, but glad it wasn’t me. Not to mention the burning bright red cheeks you end up with, not because you’ve exerted yourself in cold weather but because your mortified at making a spectacle of yourself when your supposed to be a professional person , or at least that’s the image your trying to project. But worse is when you slip so near the kerb you fear for you life at the wheels of a car, and lets face it in slippy conditions a freak accident is more likely to happen with cars, they just can’t stop suddenly. So choice of dying by humiliation, or just dying, wonderful. I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad if you had a nice looking bit of eye candy to catch you, or help you up. What? Oh come on you boys do it too, fall over and hope to god some pretty bit of skirt helps you up…Of course it’s all so terribly embarrassing if the eye candy isn’t there. I have noticed though chivalry isn’t dead. Well as long as your female and fall over. Disappointing for the “sisterhood” though, because if you are male and fall, well women leave a lot to be desired in that department, I suppose they just don’t want to end up on their asses themselves. Anyway here is to snow fall and falls in the snow, I’m off to finish my nice hot cup of chocolate, to warm myself up and to nurse the embarrassment of landing on my backside.

The constant pressure to 'look good'

What is it about this day and age where everyone is under constant pressure to look “hawt” as my lovely young chav ‘friend’ told me the other day? Bearing in mind that this is a girl who is not likely to win any noble prizes any time soon and thinks that the epitome of achievement is to sit and beg off the government for scraps instead of getting off her ass and doing something. Ok I get that I like to look good for my gentlemen, but that’s not why I spend about 2 hours getting ready. I do it for me, because I would feel less than professional and more than likely a bit embarrassed if I turned up in my jogging bottoms and my vest tops. (Which I relax in at home.)I also find that I wear little if any make up at home, and constantly get those looks from the other people that “I’m letting the girly team down” Especially, from the girls who work in my local store, the words “ Oh dear” “OH! MY GOSH” and “OMG” come in here (so in my fakest accent, with the fakest attitude I can muster, not to mention sounding like the worst chav ever.)… “ OMG I mean serioooously, hunniee did you see that OMG I can’t believe tha she jus di-ent get up 4 hours early and put on so much make- up that she needs a chi-seel to get it off.” And in English translation, the girls in my local store found it extra-ordinary that I did, not get up in the morning and cake on ten layers of foundation and ten layers of mascara just to walk to the shop for a pint of milk and a paper. I like my skin to breathe. When I was old enough, (aged 16) my mother took me to one side and gave me some invaluable advice…“Tammy you have lovely skin, don’t ruin it with make-up, let yourself be natural and only use what you need to, (as in no foundation) and only ever highlight what you naturally have.” Well I followed that advice and still do, so unless I have a reason to have mascara on I don’t wear any make up, and I don’t wear foundation. So why has the world suddenly become cosmetic mad? As I walk out my local shop most mornings I value the advice I was given about make-up, because I realize these young girls are hiding, they can’t bear the thought of people looking at the real them that they have to hide from the world at large. I love that at the age of 24 (well 25 this month LOL) I have nice enough skin to be able to not wear make-up. And the joke I find is on those shallow young ladies, (who are ages with me, god I feel old.) who strut and preen like peacocks, because I realize in not being indoctrinated into the shallow make-up era at 13 and having a mother who said “No! You’re not old enough yet!” My skin never had all the problems caused by being unable to breathe for 12/16 hours a day. I never had the spots or never felt like I had to hide who I was. I value the lessons that the older generation managed to teach, as it seems, the Era of Chav’s has begun.

Christmas peculiarities

Rush, Rush, Rush, (just a side note, I loathe rushing, I’m just so not good at it.)What is it about Christmas that sends all sane women into a tail spin? Seriously, I have spent the better part of three weeks stressed out and worrying over the smallest details. Never ever is it like fairytales, or even like in the movies, and why is it they never show the pitfall’s of xmas on movies anyway, you know what I am talking about. The uncle who farts and blames it on the dog, the kids squealing so by the time you hit the sack if your not drunk as a skunk you wish you were just so you could have an excuse for the blinding headache you have, The one person who knocks over the glass of wine, and the person who always has a terrible cold and who looks miserable all through dinner. The cacophony of noise at dinner so you can hardly hear what’s going on the person who takes it just that little bit to far, and the person who just has to be the moral police, and jump on the bit to far joke… and of course the classic everyone chill it’s Christmas, for god sake, peacemaker. No not in a Hollywood production, or even on an advertisement, it’s all picture perfect. Of course the adverts that have the kids going I want that and that and that and that and that, *groan* and that audible sound of the ping, ping, ping of the cash register that just adds up all those goodies that you know are going to be ruined in less than a month, and of course you dread the credit card bill hitting the doorstep in January ( after of course you have hit the sales and added more junk that you don’t really need, but hey, it’s on sale so you end up buying, and never using anyway, items that stock our homes.)And the tree, what an ordeal, If you buy fresh by the time xmas is over your ripping your hair out from all the needles littering the house, and unless you, have a coal fire which you can chop it up an burn it (by the by it burns hotter than Hades on a bad day, pine needles are SERIOUS for heat so wear protective clothing maybe have a fireman on standby) and of course that’s not eco- friendly and pollutes the earth,…so if you don’t have the option of the right wingers shoving moral excesses down your throat, you then end up having it sat with the garbage, for so many days (weeks) before the bin men get back on duty and get the bags they missed over xmas, but alas your still adding to the moral decay of the world because of all that rubbish you chucked out. You have the flip side of the coin, oh yes boys and girls I am talking about the artificial tree, which comes in all shapes sizes and colours, oh yes plus tinsel, those darn chocolate things that always melt, and baubles, which break (smash) and for course the lights that twinkle. GOD HELP ME!! *Oh wait he started this mess in the first place*If I don’t ever see flashing lights on a Christmas tree it will be all to soon. I like the static ones, the ones that blink just make you feel like you stepped out of the twilight zone, but I am rambling again …7ft artificial trees are a total NIGHTMARE to put up, all the individual branches to attach, *run, run for your lives if you value it.*I won’t go into food prep on the day as that would take up A LOT of space, but anyway, HOURS, and HOURS of cooking, then the mountain of dishes afterwards.*cries*All this stress has just about killed the women, the men are all gagging to get out for under the wives feet just for a few hours of peace and quiet, or some R&R and of course, kids just jump on you for more money to ditch you with the family while the all go out to show of to friends, and see the boy/girlfriend, if they are old enough. Oh dear I was digressing again wasn’t I? Drat I have to stop doing that, bad Tammy Bad! Anyway, So I have run my little butt about for the last 3 weeks. And I didn’t make it easy on myself, boys and girls, Because yours truly decided not 3 weeks before Christmas that it would be the brightest Idea to re-decorate just before Christmas.*yes feel free to spank my here, Hindsight is a wonderful tool and if I could bottle it I would be rich, and totally savvy*Anyway I have finally managed after all my silly little worries and total freak outs, and yes there was a few, oh god was their every, the poor chatters of punter net, I should send them flowers, as they deserve it listening to me ramble for hours about painting. I will Blog about it, just in a backwards way, as in this one will be published first, how eccentric of me Anyway I think I am finally ready to tackle the HUGE event that is Christmas day. After all my prep. Lets see, Presents : check Food *to feed 5000*: check Xmas tree: check House in order : check Alcohol for those over 18 :check, check, check, check, check!! *ok enough with the repetitious nonsense*So to steal a phrase…*everyone join in*All above equals hundreds of pounds , spending time with Family at Christmas PRICELESS!! Have a nice Christmas everyone.