Monday, 19 April 2010

Manic Weeks

I missed my deadline...

Oh drat and I was doing so well, don't you just hate it when life intrudes and you find that, all your hard work and effort just got swept away on the rising tide that was people trying to get your attention...

Tammy can you do this, Tammy can you do that? please Tammy I need this favour...

Argggg, it's one of those really annoying bugbears, that everything bad, or remotely not good, must come all at the same time, untill you are drowning in so much crap that you wished you had noticed the elephant in the room so much earlier than you did,.. (yes that is an old joke)

And of course you can only deal with one crisis at a time, but when they all hit at once which one do you pick and how can you even pick one over the other?

I should be bogged down in tables and pie charts to see who needed help more, and how urgent each case was, but as always I didn't and I ran around like a headless chicken and made do with how much I could give...

That's all you can do right?

Rant over now onto the good stuff lol

So I was catching up on some much needed loving this past week... from of course my lovely gents, and I got asked this question...

How do you know what to say during sex?

I answered thus... well I don't really I suppose I just say what is in my head.

But I suppose to this Gent whom I know reads my blog, I can supply this ...

Please click for a larger version ( I don't expect you to be able to read it, when it is this size :P)

Maybe this will help you.

Anyway... Lets see what else...

Oh yes between doctors and vets and traveling to see family I will be extreamly busy again this week, not to mention my Birmingham mini tour coming up on Wednesday.

I am wondering if I should print this and hang it on my hotel door... Though I am thinking it may cause a few to many stares and a possible knock on the door, it did tickle my funnybone though, and I thought I would share.

Anyway I best be dashing off for now...more of the dastardly appointments (of the not so nice kind) to over-see.

P.S I apoligise for any typo's as I was rushing this...

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Birmingham here I come...

I decided that I fancied, boinking the boys in Brum.

So I am offski to Birmingham on the 21st of April, to boink and bounce...

The duo will be going on there too, so woooo...

Should be lots of fun.

If you want to book an appointment with me or us on that date give me a tinkle, or drop a mail in my box, and I will get back to you xxx

Monday, 12 April 2010

The English Riddle.

This is an nursery rhyme written in english... can you work it out?
Click on the picture to enlarge it. answer in the next blog.

Sunday, 11 April 2010

The unfolding hilarities of the worker’s tools.

Ok as most of you know, and for those who don’t…

I use and frequent a few forums, message boards, etc.
Some are for paid advertisements which of course makes them a work tool.
Bit like a CNC machine or computer for the office worker.
And some I use to be able to speak and keep connected with the larger community of ‘workers’ in my field.

In all honesty I don’t have the time to look at all the threads etc so some I just look at because they catch my eye or because someone has drawn my attention to them.

Anyway upon reading two separate threads on two separate boards one which took my fancy and the other I was directed to, I happened upon these two wonderful pictures which rather took my fancy in the humour department…

The first was from Punternet courtesy of Northwinds. And made me very unladylike-ly spit my tea all over my keyboard and through my nose.
I must say at this point tea up the nose is quite ticklish and rather like getting chlorine up your nose when at the swimming baths painfully ticklish with that quaint undercurrent of eek added in.

So thank you Northwinds for my *giggle snort* of the day it made me chuckle. Mwah x

The second was from punterchat and was posted by Plod who found the picture in the Newspaper, and I found it funny and quite perversely liked the sign… was considering adding it as my uploaded picture.

Needless to say I won’t be… lol

But still the uses of the boards have been both a great tool and have generated some fun moments for me…

And on this note I will leave you with one of my favourite funnies, to an all round funny post.

There Are At Least EIGHT Types Of ORGASM FOR A WOMAN.

1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes...............

2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No.................

3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No.........

4. The Traveller - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming..........

5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh God......................

6. The Usurer - Ahh, More, More, More..................

7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you take it out, I'll kill you

8. The Submariner - Mmm...OHHH...Deeper...Deeper... GO DEEPER!!

Friday, 9 April 2010

Spring is here!!!

Spring is in the air…

And I felt the need looking at my little house on the prairie, that it needed some TLC.
So I decided that this weekend between bouts of fun, with the ‘family’ I would and most definitely shall do my spring cleaning,

Now that I have made a list of what I want doing, what needs doing and what doesn’t, I find myself feeling rather daunted by this spring cleaning mi-larky.

I seem to manage each year to accumulate the biggest amount of stuff that I never use, and hide it away, (for yet undiscovered purposes) I am sure when I buy this stuff there must be a purpose to it, and I just either never get round to using them or I forget that I have them and think ‘oh yeah I forgot I had that’ when I invariably come across it several months down the line.

Now I know that this is the 21st century and we should all be doing it as we go along, but as you know I am quite nostalgic and I like to keep this tradition, of ‘spring cleaning’ even though I do clean as I go.

By the way did you know that spring cleaning goes back to the Neanderthal days of the human existence, and was for the purpose of clearing the cave of bones and debris, when the spring broke, it was a celebration, and marked the coming spring and it’s bountiful harvest that was yet to come to fruition.

So now that I have some nice days and my clock is all out of sorts, don’t know if any of you are having the same problem… I am so used to setting or judging time by the setting of the sun for the past few months that I was rather out of sorts when the clock went to British summer time, so rather than making my dinner by the setting of the sun (around 6pm) I found myself flummoxed for the last week and having my dinner late, due to the lack of sunset, I am sure my inner clock will re-set itself in the next week, but I do find myself thinking it’s earlier than it is because of the extended sunshine.

No complaints about the weather though it’s been a beautiful spring so far, with a nice mixture of rain and sunshine, which of course always puts a smile on most peoples faces.

So instead of cosy nights in by a warm fire and some chocolate, or snuggling under the covers for body heat. My sizzling summer maiden is straining at the leash for some fun, she wants picnics in the park, al fresco fun, long evenings sipping cool wine, and lots of summer attire, fresh funky dresses, nice breathable cotton, to allow the air to caress the skin. And little mini-skirts, to let those legs of mine find their freedom.

Well anyway off to raid my cupboards and wardrobe to see what I can find, as suddenly with the thoughts of all spring and summer brings I am not so daunted by the prospect of my spring clean.

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Ramblings of a muse.

Prolific blogging

Or not…

I never seem to find the time between actually working, being a mommy, and doing my other various activities to sit down and write all the strange and delightful things that happen to me (or sometimes not)
Time vs. Activities = no fluid blogs.

I would love to be able to sit and just type up a Blog at least once a week, (asking for more would be like asking for the titanic not to sink!)
Anyway as I have a new one I will make more of an effort to update it, I usually get about a two hour window every month or so and thrash out about 6 in one hit, not conducive I know, but, I do so much and finding the time, and by that I don’t mean at 3 am, it can be a bit iffy.
I usually find that my creative side gets a good hit at 3 am though, mind you if you ask any artist (and I don’t profess to be one) they mostly say the same.
The muse hit’s me at odd hours and doesn’t want to shift her working hours, women eh!

Anyway… I will get better at this blogging thing as I hope to be able to write more often it’s a passion of mine.

Some of it will be meaningless drivel, I hope to add some funnies, and some serious contents too.

But this is just a insight to little ole me, so you can share is some of my life’s anecdotes.

My Lunch date with the enchanting Jasmin


Ah the wonderful enchanting Jasmin.

As I stated in my Blog about the pictures, After I left I managed to get on the tube again…
After getting lost once (only once was a miracle for me) I managed to get myself after 40 mins to the tube station in which the lovely Jasmin was to pick me up.

But first some background…

Jasmin and I have been talking on Punternet on the chat-room for quite a while now, and we have always said we would like to meet for coffee or something, having never really gotten into the whole social escort or escort and punter meets, and after one attempt which did not go so well for me, I decided to tell Jasmine that I would be in London on Thursday the 1st of April if she fancied meeting up for some lunch, and she to my utter amazement and good fortune said yes, we swapped numbers and I dutifully told her I would call when done with said photo-shoot…

Anyway day of arrival and I am at the train station waiting for the Euston train when low and behold I get a text pop up…

Hi darling I don’t want to take you to lunch so I cooked for you.

Now at this point you could say my heart melted, I love home cooked food, don’t get me wrong I love to eat out, but there is something about home cooked food that someone has prepared for you that just makes you feel special, and this Lady was going to make me feel like a goddess.

So I alighted my train with some trepidation, as with all things my mind wandered back to my days of being taught good manners and running through my lists of do’s and don’ts at other peoples houses…
So I got off at my station and got on the underground a feat in itself, anyone who knows me knows I don’t have the best sense of direction…

So I arrived and did my photo-shoot, and called when it was done…
I was told my directions from the lovely Jasmin, and managed by some miracle not to get lost (I am sure it was her directions more than my travelling skills I assure you.)

So after 40 mins one lost moment and a near perfect ride, I wait dutifully outside the station to be picked up…
She turns up! (whisper thank you ,god, Allah, Buddha, goddess, saint nick, and anyone else who made this possible) In a nice car (I won’t say what kind) was a very cool little car, and of course it’s driver was stunning…
Such a beautiful lady, wearing a nice little black number (though how she can drive in heels is beyond me cause I can’t …jealous much …me? Of course :P)
Anyway we get to her place, and take our shoes off, which as she has cream carpets I would be telling people to be taking their darned shoes off too.
So up the stairs and I have a OMG rude much moment… I am trying not to look and stare all at the same time, as it would be rude to stare at someone’s house and d├ęcor…
But I must say this woman has style, and class and elegance and not only is it written all over her, but all over her house too.
It’s an immaculate stunning place of residence, one I would happily move into just to be there.

Anyway, I am digressing and am likely to be killed for divulging anything more…
The table was set prior to my arrival, and it was really nice just to enjoy the homey feelings that were pouring over me, this boys and girls is one place that will put you right at ease, and totally relax you.
So after attending the ladies room( and yes I did wash my hands thank you very much) Jasmin showed me her lush collection of Sari’s and offered me a mint green one, which I would have to have made (the top part) But as it was stunning and so her colour I declined even though she wanted me to have it.

So on to dinner, where I had home made chicken biriani (sp?)
Samosas and spring rolls and some chicken things that I can’t remember the name of (sorry babe)

The biriani, was exquisite ( having tasted what the local Indian call food, and what another friend once cooked me) I would have to say that home cooked Indian is far better and more eloquent in taste and texture.
Bay leafs filled the kitchen with a subtle yet alluring scent, fresh carrots gave it a stunning colour,
Cinnamon added a touch of sweet spice, and that was just a small fraction of what hit your taste buds.
My mouth watered at the smell of this luscious food being cooked.
The spring rolls and Samosas were made from hand, as were the other little chicken thingy’s
The spring rolls were fresh and crisp from the pastry ( question is … is it a pastry? I don’t know enough about Indian cuisine so any mistakes are mine and mine alone, and this is not from ignorance just that I have never really had the chance to ask someone about them) wet and fresh inside.
Now some spring rolls end up mushy inside but these were just perfect.
The Samosas were not to spicy and just mouth watering. I could quite happily have eaten the whole batch but manners dictated not to be greedy.
The little chicken thingy’s had the texture on the outside of being rolled in bread crumbs so were crispy and fresh, and Damn they set my mouth on fire with the chicken filling…( really must remember what Jasmin called them.)But my god I had to fan my tongue afterwards.

Now I am not a fan of spice and Jasmin knows this and toned down the spices when she cooked for me so I don’t want you all thinking that she cooked spicy food cause I was coming, though now I think about it, maybe she did to get rid of me :P ( that was a joke)

I like Indian just a spiced down version of it, But all in all my mouth watered and I couldn’t wait to for my next mouthful, it was a beautifully made dinner with an exquisite array of tastes textures, and overall wonderful full belly feeling.

She then plied me with what can only be considered a threat to any diet that you would happen to be on, luckily I am not on one, so when she presented for me, a luxurious chocolate fudge cake, that was rich in flavour and moist to the point of melting in your mouth, well what is a girl to say…

It’s Madam you are surely spoiling me no? ( add fake French accent)

I was in seventh heaven, sitting on the sofa in the most wonderful company I can imagine full of perfectly cooked home made Indian cuisine and chocolate fudge cake, and I was seriously debating if I could stow away in her closet…

She is without a doubt the most charming ladylike sweet caring and enigmatic person I have had the privilege to meet in a long time… and if I was shown half of the care and devotion she has, then her clients are darned lucky to have her as their companion.

My Photo-shoot milarky

New pictures

Which are already up, yes I did say I was lax at this blogging thing, I am getting better…
Anyway Pictures were due and done on the 1st of April 2010, what a farce…

I got up at 7 got everything ready, or thought I did, got to the train station and I had a gent walk up to me and ask for a light, then he says… your Chloe right?
Err no darling’ I’m the other one I would be Tammy.
Of course I have no make up on, I am in travel clothes, and my hair is tied up in a pony tail, Just perfect I thinks…

Not that I don’t look good or close to what I do with make up, but I guess it’s a defence thing you know…
Anyway I feel uncomfortable and the gent is talking to me… err just to clarify I am not on working hours.

Did we not cover don’t approach WG’s in the street in the 101 that all clients get?… It’s a BIG NO! NO!
Not cause we don’t want to talk to you out of office hours but you don’t know what we are doing and you are intruding on our personal time and space.

Anyway, that totally threw my whole head space out of sync, my lists of things I needed to accomplish where I had to be, travel directions, what platforms and stations for the tube, did I have everything, etc, etc.

So I am polite and courteous, and carry on about my arrangement in a less than orderly fashion, as my head is now in dis-array.

I manage to get on the train, and get off at Euston only to look up as the train pulls in to find the same gent getting off the same carriage, now I deliberately use the opposite exit, to exit and hope that he hasn’t noticed me.. No such luck he then strikes up a further conversation, by this point my head is seriously considering getting back on the train, and making a swift exit, but I made a date with my photographer and had already called him to confirm that morning that I would arrive at 11am promptly. So my mind thinks banalities what can I say without sounding rude, because I am not by nature a rude person, and it comes up with how dull and lifeless Euston station is, architecturally, unbeknownst to me the guy is into that, that’s it Tammy my brain scream pick the only topic that the guy knows about…
Anyway after making a few comments, I pipe up well got to dash take care and scarper like a tornado.

I get onto the underground and manage without fuss to get to my photographers in South Kensington. Kudos to me for that, least I didn’t get lost this time…

I am there at 11am sharp, I get my kit out for the pictures only to discover that I have not in fact got all my checklist (which was in my head) and can now do nothing about it, Drat and double Drat.
On top of which I noticed my zipper burst and I had been walking about London with a burst zipper, well at least I now knew why I had all the funny looks off complete strangers… oh well.

So the shoot progresses, and by the end I am totally exhausted… not cause I did a work out or anything else but the mental preparation and getting there then having the shoot, was not as orderly as I would have liked…

So once the shots were done I got dressed and Called Jasmin, whom I was to have lunch with and told her I would be about an hour… and I will leave it there and let you read my Jasmin Blog.

Monday, 5 April 2010

All the kerfuffle...Over Updates.

Ok since I decided to update my website and re-size it, I noticed that my blog no longer fit and the chaps can’t read it, so I created this one…
I shifted all the old blogs over here so you can have a gander (also why the blog about Xmas is posted in April) LOL.

Anyway this is a short blog to say that anything posted before this message was from my blog on the website and I am up-dating so please don’t tell me it’s all skee whiffy as I know and am working on rectifying it LOL

Much loves…


Well after trying hard to work out all the gadgets and gismos on AW(phew I managed it at last) I think I am on the right track. Give a girl an option she is happy, give her to many and well ... lol Extensive research is a part of this line of work, I’m telling you we should have it on the national curriculum how to be an escort, with an exam at the end of the year, (a written one you dirty men) Honestly sometimes your minds are so dirty, I don’t know what I would do without you, it’s delicious. I think it's just a case of, try and if you don't get it first time round try harder. AW is a tool like any tool in any industry you have to know how to use it and like any tool it does have it’s downfalls, and not always up to scratch. But since hundreds of escorts use it successfully I thought I would give it a bash, after saying I wouldn’t … I know girls prerogative to change her mind, anyway digressing again. So I managed to figure most of it out.. I managed to work out the profile, gallery, and AW interview, all by my lonesome. Adding number and getting credits and paying for listings… well that came after. I joined AW back in 2008 but never did anything with it, I was busy and didn’t have the time to work out all the options and buttons, so about 6 weeks ago I decided to give it another bash…I managed the profile the interview and the gallery no problem and left it at that. Now I decided that I would show my profile locally and show my number..(could be a mistake or could work out great I will have to reserve judgement for later)Well what a farce, I goofed it then couldn’t work some things out then had a friend show me and still goofed it or thought I had and finally realised that I hadn’t goofed it at all I had done it the way it was meant to be done. Trouble is they don’t tell you that something is complete they give you another option without telling you that your done, and would you like to do something else, so you think your not done, make sense? No didn’t to me either, and that was my point LOL Well now it’s all sorted I can go and do my washing up, ho-hum.

Expenses and Advertising

Oh dear oh dear, anyone wanting to be an escort, needs to look at all the angles, it’s not all lay on your back and have a jolly good old time, or knees or any other position you care to think of…I have spent the better part of two weeks sorting out adverts and paying expenses. Between three different sites for adverts, (all three well known see if you can spot them) considering other sites for adverts, putting up free adverts,( well if they’re there might as well it’s only a banner exchange after all) and travelling to accommodate my clients, I think I can now class myself as organized. And here was I thinking that website maintenance was the only worry…I think the list never ends I still have loads to do, and not enough hours to do it all in, and of course I have 20 odd mails a day saying the same thing… WE OFFER GREAT SERVICES WITH OUR ADVERTISED PROFILES DOUBLE YOUR WORK etc *yawn* most of them I haven’t even looked at just put them straight in the delete folder, don’t be mistaken in thinking I opened the others I didn’t… My fingers slipped on the cursor on the laptop and those opened, so I still binned them. Got to love the spam mail though seems that every escort profile agency wants me on their website to promote me,(at of course a price), some of them are from abroad too. I would be flattered except I’m not that naive or stupid, shame though I could give away all my money if I was… LOL Expenses:, taxi’s trains, condoms, mints, shower gels, baby wipes, mouth wash, shoes (yes they are an expense if I use them for work only) new outfits or undies, lunches I have to buy or make my own lunches, hotel bills, toy supplies, and the batteries that go with them… the list goes on and on, like the Duracell battery only not so much fun to watch, in fact it’s down right painful. My poor accountant. But mostly the trains and taxi’s are the big hitters for me, have travel will cost…So poor me (literally) all my pennies are out the door for another month ( yes boys those are my monthly bills for work alone.)By the by I don’t buy shoes every month just every two but everything else is a monthly love affair with me and my computer and a lot of random numbers. Once upon a time I thought being organized was getting up and adding my days work stuffs to a bag having a shower and being out the door by 10am…It’s no wonder I need a dance class just to de-stress, kudos to all the guys who stare at computers day in and out , my brain fry’s if I do it for more than 3 hours a day sorting that lot out.

Snow fall and Slipping in it

...not in that way you dirty minded people…(you know you all read that as slipping it in, rather than slipping in it).Nice deep snow, not so great for the roads and cars, (unless the gritters have the grit to grit)I prefer deep snow while it plays havoc with the road systems up and down Britain you don’t slide or slip in it. This mushy sleety snow which covers the ground, but because it’s wet underneath you put your foot down and bang your looking up at various people who are trying hard not to laugh or giving you that sympathetic look that’s says poor you, but glad it wasn’t me. Not to mention the burning bright red cheeks you end up with, not because you’ve exerted yourself in cold weather but because your mortified at making a spectacle of yourself when your supposed to be a professional person , or at least that’s the image your trying to project. But worse is when you slip so near the kerb you fear for you life at the wheels of a car, and lets face it in slippy conditions a freak accident is more likely to happen with cars, they just can’t stop suddenly. So choice of dying by humiliation, or just dying, wonderful. I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad if you had a nice looking bit of eye candy to catch you, or help you up. What? Oh come on you boys do it too, fall over and hope to god some pretty bit of skirt helps you up…Of course it’s all so terribly embarrassing if the eye candy isn’t there. I have noticed though chivalry isn’t dead. Well as long as your female and fall over. Disappointing for the “sisterhood” though, because if you are male and fall, well women leave a lot to be desired in that department, I suppose they just don’t want to end up on their asses themselves. Anyway here is to snow fall and falls in the snow, I’m off to finish my nice hot cup of chocolate, to warm myself up and to nurse the embarrassment of landing on my backside.

The constant pressure to 'look good'

What is it about this day and age where everyone is under constant pressure to look “hawt” as my lovely young chav ‘friend’ told me the other day? Bearing in mind that this is a girl who is not likely to win any noble prizes any time soon and thinks that the epitome of achievement is to sit and beg off the government for scraps instead of getting off her ass and doing something. Ok I get that I like to look good for my gentlemen, but that’s not why I spend about 2 hours getting ready. I do it for me, because I would feel less than professional and more than likely a bit embarrassed if I turned up in my jogging bottoms and my vest tops. (Which I relax in at home.)I also find that I wear little if any make up at home, and constantly get those looks from the other people that “I’m letting the girly team down” Especially, from the girls who work in my local store, the words “ Oh dear” “OH! MY GOSH” and “OMG” come in here (so in my fakest accent, with the fakest attitude I can muster, not to mention sounding like the worst chav ever.)… “ OMG I mean serioooously, hunniee did you see that OMG I can’t believe tha she jus di-ent get up 4 hours early and put on so much make- up that she needs a chi-seel to get it off.” And in English translation, the girls in my local store found it extra-ordinary that I did, not get up in the morning and cake on ten layers of foundation and ten layers of mascara just to walk to the shop for a pint of milk and a paper. I like my skin to breathe. When I was old enough, (aged 16) my mother took me to one side and gave me some invaluable advice…“Tammy you have lovely skin, don’t ruin it with make-up, let yourself be natural and only use what you need to, (as in no foundation) and only ever highlight what you naturally have.” Well I followed that advice and still do, so unless I have a reason to have mascara on I don’t wear any make up, and I don’t wear foundation. So why has the world suddenly become cosmetic mad? As I walk out my local shop most mornings I value the advice I was given about make-up, because I realize these young girls are hiding, they can’t bear the thought of people looking at the real them that they have to hide from the world at large. I love that at the age of 24 (well 25 this month LOL) I have nice enough skin to be able to not wear make-up. And the joke I find is on those shallow young ladies, (who are ages with me, god I feel old.) who strut and preen like peacocks, because I realize in not being indoctrinated into the shallow make-up era at 13 and having a mother who said “No! You’re not old enough yet!” My skin never had all the problems caused by being unable to breathe for 12/16 hours a day. I never had the spots or never felt like I had to hide who I was. I value the lessons that the older generation managed to teach, as it seems, the Era of Chav’s has begun.

Christmas peculiarities

Rush, Rush, Rush, (just a side note, I loathe rushing, I’m just so not good at it.)What is it about Christmas that sends all sane women into a tail spin? Seriously, I have spent the better part of three weeks stressed out and worrying over the smallest details. Never ever is it like fairytales, or even like in the movies, and why is it they never show the pitfall’s of xmas on movies anyway, you know what I am talking about. The uncle who farts and blames it on the dog, the kids squealing so by the time you hit the sack if your not drunk as a skunk you wish you were just so you could have an excuse for the blinding headache you have, The one person who knocks over the glass of wine, and the person who always has a terrible cold and who looks miserable all through dinner. The cacophony of noise at dinner so you can hardly hear what’s going on the person who takes it just that little bit to far, and the person who just has to be the moral police, and jump on the bit to far joke… and of course the classic everyone chill it’s Christmas, for god sake, peacemaker. No not in a Hollywood production, or even on an advertisement, it’s all picture perfect. Of course the adverts that have the kids going I want that and that and that and that and that, *groan* and that audible sound of the ping, ping, ping of the cash register that just adds up all those goodies that you know are going to be ruined in less than a month, and of course you dread the credit card bill hitting the doorstep in January ( after of course you have hit the sales and added more junk that you don’t really need, but hey, it’s on sale so you end up buying, and never using anyway, items that stock our homes.)And the tree, what an ordeal, If you buy fresh by the time xmas is over your ripping your hair out from all the needles littering the house, and unless you, have a coal fire which you can chop it up an burn it (by the by it burns hotter than Hades on a bad day, pine needles are SERIOUS for heat so wear protective clothing maybe have a fireman on standby) and of course that’s not eco- friendly and pollutes the earth,…so if you don’t have the option of the right wingers shoving moral excesses down your throat, you then end up having it sat with the garbage, for so many days (weeks) before the bin men get back on duty and get the bags they missed over xmas, but alas your still adding to the moral decay of the world because of all that rubbish you chucked out. You have the flip side of the coin, oh yes boys and girls I am talking about the artificial tree, which comes in all shapes sizes and colours, oh yes plus tinsel, those darn chocolate things that always melt, and baubles, which break (smash) and for course the lights that twinkle. GOD HELP ME!! *Oh wait he started this mess in the first place*If I don’t ever see flashing lights on a Christmas tree it will be all to soon. I like the static ones, the ones that blink just make you feel like you stepped out of the twilight zone, but I am rambling again …7ft artificial trees are a total NIGHTMARE to put up, all the individual branches to attach, *run, run for your lives if you value it.*I won’t go into food prep on the day as that would take up A LOT of space, but anyway, HOURS, and HOURS of cooking, then the mountain of dishes afterwards.*cries*All this stress has just about killed the women, the men are all gagging to get out for under the wives feet just for a few hours of peace and quiet, or some R&R and of course, kids just jump on you for more money to ditch you with the family while the all go out to show of to friends, and see the boy/girlfriend, if they are old enough. Oh dear I was digressing again wasn’t I? Drat I have to stop doing that, bad Tammy Bad! Anyway, So I have run my little butt about for the last 3 weeks. And I didn’t make it easy on myself, boys and girls, Because yours truly decided not 3 weeks before Christmas that it would be the brightest Idea to re-decorate just before Christmas.*yes feel free to spank my here, Hindsight is a wonderful tool and if I could bottle it I would be rich, and totally savvy*Anyway I have finally managed after all my silly little worries and total freak outs, and yes there was a few, oh god was their every, the poor chatters of punter net, I should send them flowers, as they deserve it listening to me ramble for hours about painting. I will Blog about it, just in a backwards way, as in this one will be published first, how eccentric of me Anyway I think I am finally ready to tackle the HUGE event that is Christmas day. After all my prep. Lets see, Presents : check Food *to feed 5000*: check Xmas tree: check House in order : check Alcohol for those over 18 :check, check, check, check, check!! *ok enough with the repetitious nonsense*So to steal a phrase…*everyone join in*All above equals hundreds of pounds , spending time with Family at Christmas PRICELESS!! Have a nice Christmas everyone.

Travelling and Phones.

Travelling I honestly have no idea how people commute to work on a daily basis, it would kill me. So I went to London weekend of the 7th November was on train to London had a night out then was on train back to sunny MK at 11 am… *gag* last thing you need on a train is a hang over, dear god it’s awful. Mind you self-inflicted so can’t really complain. Weekend after I was again travelling, can’t say where as it’s top secret *shuuuush*Weekend after that I was again travelling to another destination, left Friday early morning and got back Sunday at 6ish…Between weekends I was all over Milton Keynes doing various things… like getting shopping and visiting friends, and of course dancing. Since then I’ve been in Northampton several times a week doing various things, including some retail therapy (but most of that was xmas shopping)And travelling to meet some very lovely gentlemen, so I have been a bit of a busy girl. I am also travelling over the xmas period and new year. I can only thank my lucky stars that I am not an international escort as I don’t think I could handle all the travel *phew* So boy’s hats off to you if you commute to work on a daily basis. Anyway on one of my many trips. I was in city, I needed a new phone, mine seem to break a lot. Phones…Ok what is it with technology today…I went into the city , as I needed some things, namely a new phone, and some paint. Get to the phone store, ad has a nice little assistant show me some phones. Why does every phone you buy have to have every computer application going? Honest to god, and almost all are now touch screen what is going on? Last time I bought a phone (ok maybe two years ago) things were simple. You get a phone for calls and possibly sms (text messages).I use my laptop a fair bit, as I don’t have a home computer, I just don’t see the point of having a home computer when I have the laptop, more portable and comfortable for me. Anyway… So I go to fine a new phone and everything has gone mad. Why do I need to have Facebook apps and Internet explorer on my phone. Yadda yadda yadda, Honestly the world has gone mad on internet phones. Anyway a few weeks after my sad affair with the phone, I tries to top up. Now I have gone digital enough to top up via my card, purely for convenience, So I tries to top up and am told by the whinny voice on the phone that I have reached my credit limit. What the hell? I called the nice tech help people to be told this…You can only top up 30 pounds in the first month, this is due to security measures from both the bank and the phone company. Now I do have another line and can top that up so why one rule for one phone and another for the new phone.? Well because if my card gets stolen in the first month then the people who steal it after going to the trouble of registering my card they can only top up 30 in the first month, instead of say 300.So my convenience has now turned into an inconvenience, as I now have to get a top up voucher. What annoyed me so much was this…I have two phones, both registered and both have a security code. Not only that I am pretty anal about my card and keep it safe or as safe as I can at all times. I use cash, so no chance of my card being swiped or my details being nabbed, I don’t use holes in the wall I always go into the bank, so again my details can’t be taken from a dodgy teller. And the phone company have the cheek to tell me after yapping on about how much more convenient it is to top up via card, that I can’t do any more top ups in the first month. Inconvenient that!!!

Phone call annoyances

Ah the annoyances I love. Do you ever wonder if people read your website? Honestly, all the stick you get…You need a website so people can see, right, check! You need to advertise, right, check! Get on free escort directories, right, check! Phone rings.. Yea! It all worked.” I could you give me details.” err, what kind of details were you looking for?” when your working” it’s on the website darling, you did look” err yes” “OK then ” Click. Why call to ask about when I am working if you have read the site? Or did they not read the site and if so, then why say you did? Some things just seriously boggle the mind. I don’t mind answering a few questions, because I don’t state services on my website, some things are best left for the private domain, you understand. But to ask for information that is clearly stated. I would not mind answering the questions if the caller said, I have not seen your website. But if they have, why ask questions to which you already have the answer? Honestly sometimes things are just to boggling, either that or I am to darned pedantic. Well anyway…


Ok I admit to being slightly idiosyncratic, I like to have my little things, that to be fair I enjoy being peculiar about. I like to be a neat freak, and pedantic, slightly anal and ok I admit it I like to be a bit childish too. Sometimes it is good just to stamp your feet even though you’re a grown adult. I also like to have my way in certain things, (clearly I hear you say) Is it really that bad to have your own little idiosyncrasies? Honestly. I am eccentric enough for a lot of people and I do tend to blabber when nervous And, you know I am a big enough girl to take on peoples opinions of me. But seriously to tell me to look up words before I use them when I know what I am talking about, then to do a complete 180 and say well actually now that I have seen you, you look HOT, I believe the term used was Phoaaaaaarrrr or something to that effect so you will have to forgive the adlibbing another one of my Idiosyncrasies, just takes the metaphorical biscuit.I mean to go from insult to compliment in under a minute, and on top of which the only input in that minute is the viewing of a website picture.I know men are very visual creatures that’s why the pictures are there, but honestly.You can’t judge by my use of formal language? With what I wrote, I clearly can understand the word pedantic, and yet can do a 180 and say can I just say your HOT.Did he think I was stupid until he seen my pictures?After coming across I suppose you would say on paper here but we don’t use paper anymore… *new rant on lack of paper but oh saving the trees.SO after coming across on paper as knowing what it meant, I should check a dictionary before saying anything but Oh by the by your pictures are hot. (well of course they are I paid money for them. You don’t pay for professional shots and have them look shabby, It’s just not done. Not when you pay good money for them anyway.)I mean I know I am slightly crazy,(in a loveable way) But do men honestly think with the eyes or dick and not with the brain??Why do I always end up pondering the oddest of stupidities till all hours of the day and night, Hmmm, must ponder that… LOL

Chat-room antics

OK I have become the ignominious web logger .I have come to this one web log of drivel with a very stunning purpose.(yes I know contradictory information there.)Ok the stunning part of this web log comes in the form of my very sweet online friend Jasmine. I will add a link here to shamelessly flaunt Jasmine on my web log. So as some of you know, and some of you don’t but will after this web log. I use and frequent Punter net’s Chat room. Yes I am that sad, well not really I just like the recipes. (chartroom joke)Ok so not sad I just like the general chit chat and it gives me some down time.*I am so digressive sometimes *So I met Jasmine on P-net chat, and we get on famously usually talking about Jell-O fights with chocolate sauce and me chasing Jasmine into the waiting arms of a another user . *she hides from me*And other various antics that involve some slipping in Jell-O/cream and some rather odd disappearing acts usually by me when I am swamped with work like now. Anyway Jazz for some unknown reason to me, seems to like my web logs and is always pestering me for more news, lol The trouble is that I don’t always find something interesting to talk about. Hence the contradictory start to this web log and why I am sinking so fast in my own estimations it is rather pathetic.(I did promise myself not to be a prolific web logger and to only log about relevant events.)I do however have the stunning Jasmine to write about…Now you may say, But Tammy you have an affiliations (sp?) page, why not add Jasmine there. Well, the answer is simple, I have not met the lovely Jasmine in person - yet! - Like that page says the girls on it I know and have worked with or know how they work and am completely comfortable with that. I have not yet had that kind of time with Jasmin, when I have I would love to add her to my collection of beautiful women whom I have the utmost respect for and have the wonderful honour to know. So to the Lovely Jasmin or as she is known on Punternet Indian-Delight. I will post a link to Jasmine’s Blog on my Weblog page and any other Blogs I am reading or like to share with you alloy P.s this was posted at 4am so please ignore all typo's and sp mistakes. I was rather tired when I wrote it. *Gag* Sorry.

E-mal Stupidity!

How many contradictions can you put in one e-mail? Ok so I received an e-mail from a I won’t say gent here because this guy is clearly not a client. Or if he wanted to be then it was to “swap services” - not likely! Anyway I get to my laptop this morning ( 02/11/09) and sits down with my nice cup of coffee. I had an e-mail from a female friend asking me to do some work for her new website which goes live soon and she wanted me to do some of the wording for her. I also check two other e-mails one from a client asking about this and that .The other mail was junk and had obviously slipped through the filter. The last e-mail I had this morning was strange indeed. Upon opening it I am greeted with this…Quote:” Dear Yammy, ”Well now always nice to know that any mail I am being sent cannot even get my name correct in the greeting. Ok I know, rather pedantic of me…however if it was just a normal typo from a client I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. This wasn’t. This e-mail goes on to say this…Quote:” From time to time I have read the information on your website and you appear to be a positive self possessed brave lady but it must be difficult to share your concerns and difficulties with someone who knows the whole story--you are effectively without support.” Well now nothing like flattery in the morning to get a girl perked up for the day. *rolls eyes*So I am reading and thinking, this is nice,(not) I am positive, self possessed and brave. But I... WHAT? See this is where it starts to go downhill. Oh yes - great you’re an escort and you APPEAR to be positive, brave and self possessed. Now I am going to be really pedantic and very anal about this. (yes I know they mean the same thing I am just trying to keep you on your toes lol)I will take the self possessed bit as a compliment even though it does have two meanings, and you will laugh your ass off at the other meaning of this word (or at least I found it highly amusing.)possessed [p zest] adj 1. controlled: controlled or strongly influenced, especially by a supposed evil supernatural force or a strong emotion screaming and shouting like a man possessed 2. having quality: having something as a quality, characteristic, or belief (literary) He was possessed of a sharp wit. Dictionary definition for you all so as you can see I am either being strongly influenced or controlled. Which given the nature of the industry made this laughable. I did say I would take this as the second meaning. Now then I am confident and in control of my own emotions. (self-possessed)Dear me I have actually managed to achieve confidence and emotional control. Emotional control usually hits around puberty where most adolescents’ gain these skills. Now at the grand old age of 24 I am pleased and proud to say that I have only now managed to convince one life coach/mentor that I have emotional control. Fantastic!!! *snort*Of course people seeing me as an escort would never give me confidence. LOLI mean honestly I am just a back-water gal who is down on myself and can’t get a job so have to resort to selling myself. (joke of the century that)Incredulous to say the least. Now to the downfall of that one small paragraph. Quote: “but it must be difficult to share your concerns and difficulties with someone who knows the whole story--you are effectively without support “Clearly I cannot find it within myself to seek comfort or support in my professional capacity. I don’t have internet access to find like minded people to share my experiences with. Nor apparently can I confide in any friends or family. Can I just add here that I do have both emotional and professional support both from other ladies like myself and also from non judgmental friends and family. Here is the crux, when you love someone it doesn’t mean you don’t support that persons life choices, Nor does it mean that you automatically get shunned. But I digress. So This man has emailed myself to offer his skills as a life coach/mentor. Claims to be a people person, Quote: “I am 58 years old, fit and I believe personable. ”Ok three things wrong with this line. I don’t need to know your age, as age has nothing to do with being qualified for this post. Secondly I don’t need to know your fit, and in good general health. And thirdly the personable thing is ludicrous. I don’t need to know that you are polite with a nice personality and have a pleasant appearance. This man also claimed…Quote:” For many years I have occupied senior positions in one of the professions and over the last 10 years or so I have developed an interest in counselling, coaching and mentoring and have acquired minor academic qualifications in those subjects. During that time I have mentored fellow professionals in connection with their work and have provided support to those professionals "in distress" at the request of an organisation set up for that purpose.” If he is so highly placed why does he need to solicit an escort? lol If this person works as a coach and mentor in a professional capacity then why is the typo there? (My name typo)When you work with people in that kind of environment image and skills are everything. You would not make such a blatant mistake after 10 years. Not only that my website has been live for less than two weeks how could he look from time to time? Clearly a scam, my little brain says to me. Let me put you right on a few things MR E-mail. I don’t get into “distress” and if I did I would not be talking to a life coach about it. I would be talking to people who understand these things. Like the relevant authorities or other people who work in my profession. I would be making other women aware of the dangers if I fell into them as we all do, and I would be alerting them to possible scams or not pleasant clientele. Secondly IF and that is a BIG IF I wanted a life coach or mentor I would look for one myself. I would not be answering e-mails from someone who solicited me. You obviously have a lack of clientele if you have the time to proposition me. Your e-mail is clearly a standard “copy and pasted” format and the only thing you had to get right was my name and didn’t even manage that. You have several spelling and grammar mistakes and obviously don’t know how to use a spell checker. Quote: “I apologise for writing at length but there is much to know and learn. If you enquire closer into coaching/mentoring you will find that for some it is essential particularly in the entertainment industry and more and more it is becoming the norm in commerce.” Yes you need to apologise because not only was the e-mail long winded but it was full of inaccuracies, including this BIG one above. You don’t need to be mentored or coached on being an escort. And if women decide to ask for advice the usually do so from more experienced escorts. Not only that we tend to be able to garner things like a good accountant and money management, from ladies who have the experience and know who’s who in who Ville Not only that we are not exactly in the “entertainment” industry more in the personal services. So while the label can apply it is slightly inaccurate. Quote: “Used properly life coaching or mentoring can be deeply supportive and life enhancing. It can be adapted to suit multi-various needs and situations-its purpose is to provide help and assistance when required but more particularly to help a client make good decisions and feel good about those decisions and to lead a fulfilled and happy life” In short, you are basically saying that I cannot make good decisions or feel good about them, not only that but I need someone to tell me I have made a good choice to lead a happy and fulfilled life. That you and only you can help me with this… of course a friend can’t tell me that or a family member, or even a work colleague. Extraordinary I would never have believed it. Ladies and Gentlemen. I cannot make a sound decision or choice without having a man who by his own account has “acquired minor academic qualifications in those subjects.” tell me they are good sound choices.*derisive snort inserted here*Jeepers I am really stuffed now. Honestly!! The absolutely dumbfounding knowledge that I didn’t know this is astounding. To quote myself GET REAL!!! Quote: “Hope all this is of interest, but even if it is not some feedback would be appreciated. Please do not hesitate to ask questions but even if you would like to know more, then please contact me using this email address.”(Again spelling grammar and even unable to complete a sentence)It is not of any interest and your “feedback” which I will not be giving other than in this WEBLOG (yes contradictory creature that I am.) is this…Don’t contact me again. I have no questions because I find you laughable and sincerely doubt that you could coach a wet paper bag much less me. I am just not a coaching type, hence the term INDEPENDENT. Oh and I will be posting this on various forums just so other escorts are aware of your e-mail and may get either a good laugh like I have, or are aware of you intentions.

Networking, Networking, Networking...

To Blog or not to Blog that is the question.
Ok some blogs are pants and some are really outstanding. Not sure which mine will come under and frankly not really bothered however I have noticed a few things that I thought I would share.
Or rather should I say piqued my interest and got me to thinking.
What is with all the social networking??
Ok this may sound a slight bit hypocritical what with me actually writing a Blog and all, but seriously.
Besides a Blog which an escort can tell you all about her day, week or just chat about exciting stuff , which to varying degrees are ok.
For those who don’t know what the following are I will give a brief description of each site and what it does. Facebook - Facebook is a global social networking website. Users can add friends and send them messages, and update their personal profiles to notify friends about themselves. Additionally, users can join networks organized by city, workplace, school, and region. Why does an escort need a Facebook page? Ok It may be good for a few posts on deals and discounts, but honestly it just encourages stalkers. Nobody really needs to know that you went for a pee at 3:30pm in the afternoon and it was really yellow indication that you should drink more water. (honest to god Facebook post )Seriously the dangers etc inherent in this kind of networking for escorts is massive. Twitter - Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read messages known as tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 characters displayed on the author's profile page and delivered to the author's subscribers who are known as followers. Senders can restrict delivery to those in their circle of friends or, by default, allow open access. Users can send and receive tweets via the Twitter website, short message service (SMS) or external applications. While the service itself costs nothing to use, accessing it through SMS may incur phone service provider fees. I can see the benefit for parlours or agency’s for this kind of networking site. Discounts, girls going home ,and who’s in and who’s not. But again for a escort working on her own, seriously do you need to tweet 20 times a day about nothing really. “ 2:27pm 23/10/09... Went to shops was hungry after last appt.” Genuine tweet, I mean did we really need to know that?? Even the website making tools have them on. Honestly. I can link Facebook and Twitter accounts to my website. Not likely in this case as I have neither and will not be getting them .A few questions do come up though. Are you really not that busy that you have time to play on both Facebook and Twitter every day? Or is it just part time girls that have these accounts.? Does it actually do anything for your income? Are you addicted to the internet that much? Are you really that much of an exhibitionist that you have to tell us every small detail of your lives? And last please be careful because guys following your every word and move suggests stalker and those can be dangerous. This Weblog is not intended to bait flame or incite any animosity between myself or any other service provider. I just wanted to ask and ponder the questions, to something that made me think.