Monday, 5 April 2010

Christmas peculiarities

Rush, Rush, Rush, (just a side note, I loathe rushing, I’m just so not good at it.)What is it about Christmas that sends all sane women into a tail spin? Seriously, I have spent the better part of three weeks stressed out and worrying over the smallest details. Never ever is it like fairytales, or even like in the movies, and why is it they never show the pitfall’s of xmas on movies anyway, you know what I am talking about. The uncle who farts and blames it on the dog, the kids squealing so by the time you hit the sack if your not drunk as a skunk you wish you were just so you could have an excuse for the blinding headache you have, The one person who knocks over the glass of wine, and the person who always has a terrible cold and who looks miserable all through dinner. The cacophony of noise at dinner so you can hardly hear what’s going on the person who takes it just that little bit to far, and the person who just has to be the moral police, and jump on the bit to far joke… and of course the classic everyone chill it’s Christmas, for god sake, peacemaker. No not in a Hollywood production, or even on an advertisement, it’s all picture perfect. Of course the adverts that have the kids going I want that and that and that and that and that, *groan* and that audible sound of the ping, ping, ping of the cash register that just adds up all those goodies that you know are going to be ruined in less than a month, and of course you dread the credit card bill hitting the doorstep in January ( after of course you have hit the sales and added more junk that you don’t really need, but hey, it’s on sale so you end up buying, and never using anyway, items that stock our homes.)And the tree, what an ordeal, If you buy fresh by the time xmas is over your ripping your hair out from all the needles littering the house, and unless you, have a coal fire which you can chop it up an burn it (by the by it burns hotter than Hades on a bad day, pine needles are SERIOUS for heat so wear protective clothing maybe have a fireman on standby) and of course that’s not eco- friendly and pollutes the earth,…so if you don’t have the option of the right wingers shoving moral excesses down your throat, you then end up having it sat with the garbage, for so many days (weeks) before the bin men get back on duty and get the bags they missed over xmas, but alas your still adding to the moral decay of the world because of all that rubbish you chucked out. You have the flip side of the coin, oh yes boys and girls I am talking about the artificial tree, which comes in all shapes sizes and colours, oh yes plus tinsel, those darn chocolate things that always melt, and baubles, which break (smash) and for course the lights that twinkle. GOD HELP ME!! *Oh wait he started this mess in the first place*If I don’t ever see flashing lights on a Christmas tree it will be all to soon. I like the static ones, the ones that blink just make you feel like you stepped out of the twilight zone, but I am rambling again …7ft artificial trees are a total NIGHTMARE to put up, all the individual branches to attach, *run, run for your lives if you value it.*I won’t go into food prep on the day as that would take up A LOT of space, but anyway, HOURS, and HOURS of cooking, then the mountain of dishes afterwards.*cries*All this stress has just about killed the women, the men are all gagging to get out for under the wives feet just for a few hours of peace and quiet, or some R&R and of course, kids just jump on you for more money to ditch you with the family while the all go out to show of to friends, and see the boy/girlfriend, if they are old enough. Oh dear I was digressing again wasn’t I? Drat I have to stop doing that, bad Tammy Bad! Anyway, So I have run my little butt about for the last 3 weeks. And I didn’t make it easy on myself, boys and girls, Because yours truly decided not 3 weeks before Christmas that it would be the brightest Idea to re-decorate just before Christmas.*yes feel free to spank my here, Hindsight is a wonderful tool and if I could bottle it I would be rich, and totally savvy*Anyway I have finally managed after all my silly little worries and total freak outs, and yes there was a few, oh god was their every, the poor chatters of punter net, I should send them flowers, as they deserve it listening to me ramble for hours about painting. I will Blog about it, just in a backwards way, as in this one will be published first, how eccentric of me Anyway I think I am finally ready to tackle the HUGE event that is Christmas day. After all my prep. Lets see, Presents : check Food *to feed 5000*: check Xmas tree: check House in order : check Alcohol for those over 18 :check, check, check, check, check!! *ok enough with the repetitious nonsense*So to steal a phrase…*everyone join in*All above equals hundreds of pounds , spending time with Family at Christmas PRICELESS!! Have a nice Christmas everyone.

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