E-mal Stupidity!

How many contradictions can you put in one e-mail? Ok so I received an e-mail from a I won’t say gent here because this guy is clearly not a client. Or if he wanted to be then it was to “swap services” - not likely! Anyway I get to my laptop this morning ( 02/11/09) and sits down with my nice cup of coffee. I had an e-mail from a female friend asking me to do some work for her new website which goes live soon and she wanted me to do some of the wording for her. I also check two other e-mails one from a client asking about this and that .The other mail was junk and had obviously slipped through the filter. The last e-mail I had this morning was strange indeed. Upon opening it I am greeted with this…Quote:” Dear Yammy, ”Well now always nice to know that any mail I am being sent cannot even get my name correct in the greeting. Ok I know, rather pedantic of me…however if it was just a normal typo from a client I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. This wasn’t. This e-mail goes on to say this…Quote:” From time to time I have read the information on your website and you appear to be a positive self possessed brave lady but it must be difficult to share your concerns and difficulties with someone who knows the whole story--you are effectively without support.” Well now nothing like flattery in the morning to get a girl perked up for the day. *rolls eyes*So I am reading and thinking, this is nice,(not) I am positive, self possessed and brave. But I... WHAT? See this is where it starts to go downhill. Oh yes - great you’re an escort and you APPEAR to be positive, brave and self possessed. Now I am going to be really pedantic and very anal about this. (yes I know they mean the same thing I am just trying to keep you on your toes lol)I will take the self possessed bit as a compliment even though it does have two meanings, and you will laugh your ass off at the other meaning of this word (or at least I found it highly amusing.)possessed [p zest] adj 1. controlled: controlled or strongly influenced, especially by a supposed evil supernatural force or a strong emotion screaming and shouting like a man possessed 2. having quality: having something as a quality, characteristic, or belief (literary) He was possessed of a sharp wit. Dictionary definition for you all so as you can see I am either being strongly influenced or controlled. Which given the nature of the industry made this laughable. I did say I would take this as the second meaning. Now then I am confident and in control of my own emotions. (self-possessed)Dear me I have actually managed to achieve confidence and emotional control. Emotional control usually hits around puberty where most adolescents’ gain these skills. Now at the grand old age of 24 I am pleased and proud to say that I have only now managed to convince one life coach/mentor that I have emotional control. Fantastic!!! *snort*Of course people seeing me as an escort would never give me confidence. LOLI mean honestly I am just a back-water gal who is down on myself and can’t get a job so have to resort to selling myself. (joke of the century that)Incredulous to say the least. Now to the downfall of that one small paragraph. Quote: “but it must be difficult to share your concerns and difficulties with someone who knows the whole story--you are effectively without support “Clearly I cannot find it within myself to seek comfort or support in my professional capacity. I don’t have internet access to find like minded people to share my experiences with. Nor apparently can I confide in any friends or family. Can I just add here that I do have both emotional and professional support both from other ladies like myself and also from non judgmental friends and family. Here is the crux, when you love someone it doesn’t mean you don’t support that persons life choices, Nor does it mean that you automatically get shunned. But I digress. So This man has emailed myself to offer his skills as a life coach/mentor. Claims to be a people person, Quote: “I am 58 years old, fit and I believe personable. ”Ok three things wrong with this line. I don’t need to know your age, as age has nothing to do with being qualified for this post. Secondly I don’t need to know your fit, and in good general health. And thirdly the personable thing is ludicrous. I don’t need to know that you are polite with a nice personality and have a pleasant appearance. This man also claimed…Quote:” For many years I have occupied senior positions in one of the professions and over the last 10 years or so I have developed an interest in counselling, coaching and mentoring and have acquired minor academic qualifications in those subjects. During that time I have mentored fellow professionals in connection with their work and have provided support to those professionals "in distress" at the request of an organisation set up for that purpose.” If he is so highly placed why does he need to solicit an escort? lol If this person works as a coach and mentor in a professional capacity then why is the typo there? (My name typo)When you work with people in that kind of environment image and skills are everything. You would not make such a blatant mistake after 10 years. Not only that my website has been live for less than two weeks how could he look from time to time? Clearly a scam, my little brain says to me. Let me put you right on a few things MR E-mail. I don’t get into “distress” and if I did I would not be talking to a life coach about it. I would be talking to people who understand these things. Like the relevant authorities or other people who work in my profession. I would be making other women aware of the dangers if I fell into them as we all do, and I would be alerting them to possible scams or not pleasant clientele. Secondly IF and that is a BIG IF I wanted a life coach or mentor I would look for one myself. I would not be answering e-mails from someone who solicited me. You obviously have a lack of clientele if you have the time to proposition me. Your e-mail is clearly a standard “copy and pasted” format and the only thing you had to get right was my name and didn’t even manage that. You have several spelling and grammar mistakes and obviously don’t know how to use a spell checker. Quote: “I apologise for writing at length but there is much to know and learn. If you enquire closer into coaching/mentoring you will find that for some it is essential particularly in the entertainment industry and more and more it is becoming the norm in commerce.” Yes you need to apologise because not only was the e-mail long winded but it was full of inaccuracies, including this BIG one above. You don’t need to be mentored or coached on being an escort. And if women decide to ask for advice the usually do so from more experienced escorts. Not only that we tend to be able to garner things like a good accountant and money management, from ladies who have the experience and know who’s who in who Ville Not only that we are not exactly in the “entertainment” industry more in the personal services. So while the label can apply it is slightly inaccurate. Quote: “Used properly life coaching or mentoring can be deeply supportive and life enhancing. It can be adapted to suit multi-various needs and situations-its purpose is to provide help and assistance when required but more particularly to help a client make good decisions and feel good about those decisions and to lead a fulfilled and happy life” In short, you are basically saying that I cannot make good decisions or feel good about them, not only that but I need someone to tell me I have made a good choice to lead a happy and fulfilled life. That you and only you can help me with this… of course a friend can’t tell me that or a family member, or even a work colleague. Extraordinary I would never have believed it. Ladies and Gentlemen. I cannot make a sound decision or choice without having a man who by his own account has “acquired minor academic qualifications in those subjects.” tell me they are good sound choices.*derisive snort inserted here*Jeepers I am really stuffed now. Honestly!! The absolutely dumbfounding knowledge that I didn’t know this is astounding. To quote myself GET REAL!!! Quote: “Hope all this is of interest, but even if it is not some feedback would be appreciated. Please do not hesitate to ask questions but even if you would like to know more, then please contact me using this email address.”(Again spelling grammar and even unable to complete a sentence)It is not of any interest and your “feedback” which I will not be giving other than in this WEBLOG (yes contradictory creature that I am.) is this…Don’t contact me again. I have no questions because I find you laughable and sincerely doubt that you could coach a wet paper bag much less me. I am just not a coaching type, hence the term INDEPENDENT. Oh and I will be posting this on various forums just so other escorts are aware of your e-mail and may get either a good laugh like I have, or are aware of you intentions.