Did the villages let their idiots out to play this last week or what?

Ok I am frustrated so I am certain to whine about it… what women do right?

Between the idiots calling at ridiculous hours (clearly states on all sites bar one because they stole my info please do not call after 10pm, and I do turn it off, but I do forget on occasion.)

So joyful 3 am wake up calls from guys who want me to come to see them, in London, Essex, and a few other random places. Now I could understand if I was in those areas but I am not, I mean seriously I wouldn’t even get to Essex before 6am.

London I only offer in-calls and again this information is clearly stated.

I get a text message from a man… “do you do out-calls to MK?”

“ Yes I do minimum booking of two hours” I reply.

So after a few questions which I reply to, (as no net access I am expecting calls for info etc.) he then proceeds to tell me he wants this booking for Monday 13^th to which I reply I am in London and don’t get home until 10pm, so he tells me that the booking is for Monday after for 2 hours and will this be ok. I reply that will be fine but you will have to call as I do not take bookings from text messages.

He replies with this little gem.

“ Would you do bareback 4 £1000”?

I nearly spit my coffee all over my laptop, so I replied…

“Do not contact me again, and you will not get an appointment from me”

To which he replies, “Only asked, Sorry”

I declined to answer, and carry on doing my various little things on the computer, only to have this lovely village idiot text me 20 minutes later with this…

“A Level?”

I didn’t bother to answer, as he clearly didn’t get the message first time round, and I don’t believe you should feed the trolls.

So while this text farce was going on I checked my voicemail.

Only to come across village idiot number 3.

Now about an hour before the texts from idiot number 2 came through I got a call, I did answer but for some reason as I answered, it clicked over to my voicemail, so after having finished doing what I needed to do, the text idiot reminded me I had a voicemail.

So I listened to 2 voicemails that I were there (as phone is off on a Sunday)

And got to this voicemail, well as you can guess it was the over sexed village idiot that obviously needed to jack off down the phone in order to get off…

I mean seriously this idiot clearly wouldn’t be able to get it up unless the woman is not there.

So between those gems, and a few other ladies saying similar has happened to them in the last two weeks, I am wondering if the villages couldn’t handle their idiots and their kids for 6 weeks, and set the idiots loose for a break?

This is not including e-mail idiots, or forum idiots.

Oh what a joy it is to have these village idiots congregate around us.